


BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Christmas, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-14
Updated: 2000-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-10 06:33:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11121813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Can Ray and Frannie save their love? Sequel to Circle of DoubtThis story is a sequel to Tell Me Why.





	BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

 

 

becasuetwo

**All characters  
of Due South belong to Alliance, they are not mine, I am just burrowing  
them to fullfill my own private fantasies. :) This is part two of Circle  
Of Doubts. Rated PG-13 for mature subject matter and some language. Drama/H/C/  
M/F Thanks for your imput Mary Ann, I appreciate it.**  
 

**By Amethyst**

**BECAUSE I LOVE YOU**

  
  


. FEEDBACK please!!   
    
  

         Benton Fraser stood at the living room window of the Vecchio's home and stared out at the darkening city as the soft December snowflakes drifted softly downward past the windowpane. He wondered, not for the first time, where Ray Kowalski was, what he was doing? Fraser hadn't heard from him since they said good bye in Ray's apartment almost six months ago, and he half expected not to. In narcotics you rarely did hear about undercover agents, but it was his reprehensible behavior toward the detective that had been the possible cause for his partner's silence. He couldn't help feeling worse knowing that Ray might not try to contact him because he would assume the Mountie wouldn't want to hear from him.   
         But he did want to hear from Ray, more then anything he wanted to know if his friend was safe, if he forgave the Mountie for the things he had said that day at the apartment, and if they were still partners despite everything else. Ray had said they would always be partners. His gaze drifted toward the beautiful spruce tree that the Vecchio's had decorated in the corner and thought about the one Tara had convinced him to put up in his own small living room, decorated with an assortment of hand carved and store bought items.  It was still a little over a week until Christmas, but it was Fraser's first real Christmas tree, since his mother had died and his grandparents didn't really believe in celebrating in a traditional way.   
          Upon his arrival in Chicago, he had spent a couple of Christmas' at the Vecchio's of course, and over the last few years he and Ray Kowalski had celebrated in their own unique way. They didn't put up a tree, because neither of them saw the need when it was just the two of them and they exchanged gifts at the station or Canadian Consulate.   
        They always did something different for the holiday season. Their first Christmas together, Ray had convinced him to come with him to children's hospital, where they spent the entire day entertaining the children and passing out gifts and treats that had been donated. The second year they had been in Canada, still on the adventure to find the lost hand of Franklin, so they had celebrated the season with some natives in Inuivik in a small tree skinned hut made of bark.   
Now, here it was that time of year again and he wondered what his partner would be doing to celebrate. Would he be alone or with someone? Would he put a tree up? Did he wonder the same things about Fraser? He sighed and shook his head as Tara approached him with a warm cup of Cider from Ma's kitchen.   
        "You miss him don't you?" she commented as she coiled her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back; the soft fleece of his ivory sweater tickling her face softly. Fraser continued to stare out the window as he sipped the drink she had handed him, but unconsciously he leaned back into her embrace, needing the comfort she offered.    "Me too." She whispered against him. "But I'm sure he's okay."   
        He had accused Ray of running away from romantic involvement, but Ray had tossed it right back at him about Detective Chang. He had been right of course; Fraser had developed deep feelings for the Asian woman, especially after that night in his apartment but was scared to death to admit to them. Then he remembered that he had made her a promise, whether it was one she remembered or not and once Ray left he felt so alone that he decided to keep that promise.   
        He and Tara went for long walks, she was like him and never minded the cool weather, they ate quiet dinners, spent hours talking about everything and nothing. She had been remarkably easy to open up to, once he got past the initial hurtle of his own shyness and fear of rejection. She talked openly about her dreams and her fears and encouraged him to do the same. Now, she seemed almost able to read his thoughts at times, a great help to the Mountie, who still had difficulty saying what he felt at any given moment. Most of all she was so much like Ray in being able to sense when the introverted Canadian just needed to be touched or held.   
        They worked a few cases together, but Fraser maintained most of his duties to the Consulate, simply because police work just wasn't the same with out Kowalski. Although Tara was a fine and insightful detective, he couldn't help worry over her when they worked a case, more then he did with Kowalski, whom learned to share the Mounties's penchant of getting out of the trouble they often found themselves in. Not that he didn't trust Tara to take care of herself; just that the connection he felt with Ray was different than the one he felt with her.   
        Vecchio had decided not to get back into being a cop and instead had pulled the capitol together to open a restaurant for him and Stella to own and operate in downtown Chicago. Fraser had wished them well with the project and had assisted Ray with some of the initial redecorating and reconstruction.   
         Francesca had been furious when she learned Ray had left town for an undercover assignment, then when she got over her anger she was forced to deal with her grief. She loved Ray Kowalski, no matter what and she wanted only him. She didn't date; she didn't even flirt like she used to, while working at the station.   
         The only one she ever spoke directly to about her feelings was Fraser or Tara, who knew what she was going through, for they missed Ray as well. Fraser had to admit the pretty Italian woman, who had always been so quick to anger and so eager to please, had started to mature. She was looking at things in a different way and Fraser believed that was a good thing, though he still disapproved of the way Ray left his fiancé.   
        Stella Kowalski-Vecchio had tried to be supportive to her sister in law, but Stella's idea of support was to trash her ex-husband and remark on his childish tantrums of once again running away. Francesca had been hard pressed not to inform the frank woman that it was she that had run out on Ray's first marriage, not Ray, but as Fraser guessed Francesca was maturing and she let Stella's words roll of her back.   
         "This is insane!" Ray Vecchio decided from the doorway of the living room as he cast a disparaging glance at the Mountie. "Between you and my sister it's like livin' in a mausoleum!"   
         "I do not know what you mean, Ray.'" Fraser replied politely as he watched Ray Vecchio, who now sported an attractive moustache and goatee that made him look a little younger than his true age, move into the room and slump down in the recliner.   
         "You and Frannie!" Ray declared. "Ever since Stanley up and left you two have been walkin' around like someone's died or somethin'."   
         "I am sure that Francesca is missing Ray Kowalski enormously, Ray." Fraser offered. "She was going to marry him."   
         "Don't get me started." Ray hissed. "That creep just up and left, practically deserted my little sister and..."   
         Fraser turned from Tara's embrace and started to walk away, he was not in the mood to listen to another of Ray Vecchio's sermons on the evils of Stanley Kowalski. Ray barely noticed he had left, just continued to talk to himself and Fraser shook his head. Perhaps it was the time spent undercover or being married to Stella, but Ray Vecchio had changed since the last time he and Fraser had worked together as partners and the Mountie just couldn't re-invent the connection they once had. Fraser would be the first to admit that he missed the blond, energetic detective, but missing him did not make his being gone any easier so he tried not to dwell on it.   
         "I just don't understand why you are still wearing it." Stella's voice rose from the kitchen as Fraser entered to find her and Francesca helping Ma Vecchio put away the fixings from the evening meal. Stella was seven months pregnant and was seated at the table, because standing hurt her back, fitting the leftovers into Tupperware containers.   
         "Hello, Bentino." Ma greeted, receiving her usual kiss from the Mountie as she automatically refused his offer to help.  "This is women's work. But you may put those dishes away for me if you please." Fraser nodded and went to complete the chore as the two women resumed their conversation.   
         "Good evening, Francesca. Stella." He offered politely.   
         "Hiya Ben." Francesca greeted warmly; as she rinsed the pot she had just washed, set it in drain pan and reached back into the steaming sea of suds for another   
         "I would think you'd take it off since it is his." Stella reasoned as she absently waved a greeting at the Mountie from where she sat.   
        Francesca smiled benignly. She knew Stella was jealous of the fact that Ray had parted with his treasured bracelet and had given it to her when he never even allowed Stella to wear it during all the years they were together.   
         Ray had told her it was a gift from his grandmother Kowalski for his high school graduation, and a year later she had died. Ray was devastated, for he had a great love for the older woman, and he never took the bracelet off after that out of respect and affection for her, other than to take a shower.  Francesca pulled her hand out of the sink and wiggled her wrist so that the silver bracelet caught the light.   
         "Yes, it is his and that's why I'm wearing it." She informed Stella calmly, then added silently. It's all mine, he gave it to me so you can turn green and choke fer all I care, Missy.   
         "He left you!" Stella reminded and Francesca shrugged.   
         "He...needed a change." she returned, she wasn't about to admit to the other woman that her own anger and mistrust had probably contributed to Ray's leaving.  Stella shook her head and frowned.   
         "I don't understand you, Frannie." She sighed and Francesca winked at Fraser who was regarding her quietly as he placed the dishes in the cupboard.   
         "Not many do." She replied. "Only two people ever have, other than Ma." Fraser blushed and lowered his eyes, but not before returning her smile, she was including him in that exclusive club and he was proud of her acceptance.   
         "Why don't you...." Stella began only to have her words interrupted by Tara entering and reminding Fraser that they still had some shopping to do before the stores closed. Fraser quickly finished his chores and moved to kiss Francesca and Mrs. Vecchio good night. Tara handed him their coats as Ray approached.   
         "Comin' back by Monday, right Benny?" he asked and Fraser nodded, for he and Tara had agreed to share Christmas dinner with the Vecchio's and have Christmas morning for themselves.   
         "We'll be here, Ray." He assured as he helped Tara on with her heavy jacket. "Around noon should think." Francesca rushed over and reached up to whisper in his ear.   
         "Don't ferget Ma's gift." She advised softly, for the Vecchio children and Fraser and Tara had pitched in and bought Ma an expensive corning ware and accessory set that she had been dying to have and they had hidden it at Fraser's apartment until Christmas day.   
         "I wouldn't dare." He promised with a smile and she nodded in approval, then kissed him and Tara goodbye.   
         "Be careful going home." She warned as she and Ray followed them out to Tara's jeep, with Diefenbaker close behind them.   
         "We will." They assured and pulled away from the house.   
  

        The couple checked out a few more stores, then finally headed back home, riding in silence to Fraser's apartment building, and even Diefenbaker seemed subdued. Tara pulled the jeep into a free spot and shut off the engine, then turned to the Canadian in the darkness.   
         "Tell me what you are thinking." she requested quietly and Fraser almost smiled. Not, are you okay, or what's wrong, she phrased her concern in a way that would deny him a one word reply. He released a long, slow breath, that he had not been aware he had been holding and met her gaze.   
         "Would you care to take a walk?" he asked and she didn't hesitate, for she knew Fraser opened up better when he was under the stars of an open sky, with nature surrounding him.   
         "Of course." She returned opening her door and getting out. Fraser pulled the seat forward, to allow Diefenbaker to drop to the snow beneath, the he adjusted his Stetson and they headed across the lot, toward the park area a block away. Dief ran ahead of them to romp in the snow and they followed at a leisurely pace. Tara slipped her gloved hand into Fraser's and smiled up at him.   
         "It's a beautiful night." She commented, as he squeezed her hand slightly and they continued their path through the lightly falling snowflakes, her words forming ice clouds on the air before them.   
        Fraser regarded her discretely as she laughed at Diefenbaker, who could barely be seen against the snow, unless he wagged his tail or showed his teeth. He knew Tara would wait for him to speak and not press him until he was ready. He observed the way the snow sparkled against her dark silken hair like diamonds placed across the softest black velvet. Her enchanting Cimmerian eyes sparkled like the deepest galaxy and always seemed to hold a measure of mystery and amusement, as though she knew the very secrets of the universe and that the joke itself was on mankind.   
        He glanced down at their fingers intertwined; hers were almost child like against his larger palm and longer fingers, yet they held a strength that astounded Fraser. She had turned his world upside down, with her intoxicating charms and contagious laughter, always able to pull a smile or a laugh from him when no one else could, except maybe Ray Kowalski, and he loved her more for it.   
        That thought hit him like an electric surge through out his entire body and his eyes widened as he realized that he truly was in love with Tara Chang. How could that have happened? He had been so careful, promising himself that he would never fall in love again after Victoria, but here he was, walking on a winter night, holding hands with a woman that had completely captivated him with her unconditional acceptance and simple truths.   
        "Benton?" she suddenly inquired, feeling him tense and come to a halt beside her. She met his frightened gaze head on then reached up and gently pulled his lips to hers in a soothing kiss. "It's okay." She assured. "Whatever it is, it will work out."   
        Fraser continued to stare at her quietly, trying to come up with a name for everything that he was currently feeling, but he could only shake his head remorsefully. Tara pulled him into her embrace and held him close to her, running her hands over his back in slow calming motions.   
        "It's okay to feel confused, Benton." She promised and he shook his head at her astuteness. How did she do it? How could she get inside his brain and heart and understand things he could not? "We're all human and we've only got a short time on this Earth, things are going to get a little scary and confusing at times."   
        "You are a little scary and confusing sometimes, Tara." Fraser managed dryly and she laughed, pleased that he had managed to pull himself back from whatever dark pit he had been dwelling in.   
        "I like to keep you guessing, that's all." She teased and pushed away from him suddenly, deliberately shoving him off balance and landing him in the snow bank behind them.   
"Oh, you'll pay for that." He promised, leaping to his feet as she immediately ran from him giggling.   
        "I thought you liked the snow!" she taunted, grabbing up a handful of the white powder and forming it into a ball. "Here's some more, a gift from me to you." The snowball missed him by inches as he sidestepped the cold projectile, but he nailed her with the one he had been holding behind his back.   
        "I insist on returning the favor." He informed, as she brushed the snow from her coat and they both grabbed up another handful. She continued to back up, trudging further up the hill toward the trees, Diefenbaker barking and running between them excitedly, as Fraser advanced on her like a large predatory cat.   
        "Now....now that's not fair." She cautioned as the Mountie palmed the large snowball back and forth in his hands. "You can throw better then I can."   
        "Of course." He agreed, continuing to advance. "I grew up in Canada."   
        "Right!" she confirmed quickly. "So you should be nice and at least give me an extra shot or something." When Fraser just grinned and continued to move forward she found herself up against a large tree. "It would be the polite thing for a Mountie to do!" She was desperate now. Fraser paused and seemed to consider her remark, though his cerulean blue eyes twinkled with mischief.   
        "But I'm not in uniform." He informed slowly and Tara knew her chances were lost. She squealed in protest and launched herself from the tree, trying to shoot past him, but he caught her around the waist and they both ended up in the snow and rolling down the hill.   
        "Benton Fraser!" she cried, when the Mountie was the first to recover and straddled her with an impending handful of snow in his hand. "If you put that down my shirt I swear I will tell everyone I know that you keep a secret stash of Godiva chocolates in your desk at work!" Fraser hesitated again, as Tara's short, stammered breaths created delightful little frost clouds between them.   
        "They'd never believe you." He decided and she watched his eyes darken in amusement.   
        "T...that's a felony!" she warned, her teeth were starting to chatter, either from the cold snow she was laying against or the excitement of seeing Fraser so playful. He raised an eyebrow, questioningly  "I....intent to commit bodily harm. I'll have to arrest you after."   
        "It's only snow." Fraser countered logically. "A misdemeanor at the most, I'll get off with a fine."   
        "P...please don't p...put that down my shirt." She begged, half laughing half fearful of the icy cold the snow represented.   
        "You started it by shoving me in the snow bank." He reminded and she groaned.   
        "I'm sorry." She offered and gave him her sweetest smile. "I won't do it ever again." At least for tonight, she added silently.   
        Fraser didn't believe that for a moment, but he relented and let her up anyway. She laughed and brushed the snow from her clothes and hair, then started sweeping him down with her hands. He caught her hands and turned her to face him, pulling her close and capturing her cold lips with his own, the heat from their mouths creating an intense friction that spread like sparkling seeds of electricity through them.   
         Although they had officially been dating for a little over three months, they had yet to make love. Tara didn't push it, knowing Fraser just needed to feel more secure before he took that step.  They were friends first and foremost, she understood that and it seemed to be what Fraser needed most right now.   
         He had opened up to her about Victoria, so she fully understood his fear of taking that step. They didn't deny their attraction however, it seemed an added bonus, but they were content with the little things. They kissed often, did some heavy petting, and snuggled a lot, but that was as far as it went and Tara was content to wait for the Mountie to bring it to the next level.   
        "Feel better?" she asked, slightly breathless from their kiss and he nodded. "Good, then let's go inside I'm freezing!"   
         She reached up and grabbed the Stetson off his head and plopped it on her own, then looped her arms through his as he turned to get Diefenbaker's attention, but the wolf was already trotting by their side. They collected their parcels from the jeep and headed into the building.   
        They stepped out of the elevator onto the fourth floor and headed for the Mounties's apartment, Diefenbaker weaving between them. Suddenly Fraser's eye caught sight of a small wrapped package at his door and the wolf moved to sniff it then started running around in circles as though searching or something he had lost. Probably his mind, Fraser thought uncharitably.   
         "What is it?" Tara inquired, as he bent to retrieve the package, while she watched the wolf curiously. She leaned over and read the name on the brightly colored gift. "It's for you."   
        Fraser frowned as Diefenbaker wandered further down the hall, whining softly, until the Mountie saw him settle at the apartment three doors down, that was once Ray Kowalski's. The landlady had said she maintained it, simply because Ray had leased it in advance and his rent wasn't due again until after January, whether he returned or not.   
        "Tara, would you wait for me inside please?" Fraser requested as he headed down toward the wolf, who was now scratching at the door. Had someone broken into Ray's apartment? Much of his belongings were still there, so it was possible.   
        He pulled out his spare key and quietly inserted it into the lock, pushing the door open and switched on the light. He was startled to find that all of Ray's things, his pictures, furniture, dishes and even rugs were gone. The apartment was bare, other then for the utilities in the kitchen, the fridge and stove. The microwave was gone, Ray's stereo, his desk, the dinning set, the sofa and chairs, everything had been removed. He hurried to the bedroom and saw that it too was bare, except for the blinds on the windows. Even the dream catcher Fraser had made for his partner was no longer hanging from the window closest to the bed.   
        "What's going on Benton?" Tara asked quietly as she stepped up from behind him. Fraser continued to stare at the empty rooms in despair. Everything that was Ray Kowalski, everything that Fraser knew to be a part of his partner, had disappeared. It hadn't been a robbery, for they wouldn't have cleaned it out so thoroughly, even the turtle that Fraser had been feeding for his partner was gone.   
        "He's not coming back." He whispered dejectedly. "He must have been here and removed everything, why didn't he try to see me? Leave me a note, anything?"   
        "He did, love." Tara reminded, pointing at the package still in Fraser's hands.   
        With hands that were decidedly steady considering the current state of his emotions, he carefully pulled off the festive paper and lifted the lid. He stared at the contents in shock, a hundred different emotions flickering across his features as he reached down and pulled the precious gift from the box. It was a hand carved symbol of The Reaching Out Hand of Franklin holding a tiny replica of the MSS Bounty, and below the out stretched palm, in small gold letters were the initials BF & SRK There are green ships and red ships but nothing beats friendship. Partners forever.   
        "What does this mean?" he whispered to whoever would answer him.   
        "It means he loves you, Benton." She replied quietly, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "That you are still friends and always will be."   
        "But...why didn't he try to contact me?" Fraser demanded as Diefenbaker, depressed that he could not find the owner of the familiar scent he had detected earlier, whined mournfully.   
        "Maybe he didn't know where things stood between you two?" she suggested. "You said you argued before he left, maybe he thought you were still angry with him. Or, maybe he just didn't have the chance to reach you." Fraser nodded slowly and cradled the gift to his chest, allowing her to lead him out of the empty apartment.   
  

        "Excuse me, I think I'm lost." A familiar voice stated and Detective Tara Chang glanced up, as a pair of hands appeared on the desk before her.   
        The teasing face of Stanley Raymond Kowalski smiled at her, his wheat blond hair hung to just past his shoulders, though remained stubbornly short and indecisive on top. He sported a small diamond stud in his left ear and a large silver ring on is right index finger. As usual he had a few days growth on his face, which just added to his magnetism.   
        "You little shit!" she exclaimed jumping up and running around the desk to throw her arms around him in delight. "When did you get back? Fraser's been frantic since he found your apartment empty. Why didn't you call him, or call me? Have you seen Frannie?" Ray laughed and hugged her hard before releasing her and perching easily on what used to be his desk.   
        "I've told you before not to leave prints on my desk, Chang." He warned and she tossed her head at him.   
        "I'm just keeping it warm for you." She enforced good naturally. "God you're a sight for sore eyes." She looked him over slowly, taking in every detail of his dark jeans and black and red pullover. His familiar black biker boots matched the new leather winter raglan that hung to just above his calves. When their eyes met again his shined with a shy amusement.   
        "See anything you like?" he taunted and she had the grace to blush herself.   
        "Many times, Kowalski." She sighed. "Many times." Her smile faltered. "Ray, why haven't you contacted Fraser? He was devastated when he saw that you had moved out of your apartment." Ray lowered his eyes and picked at one of the files on the desk.   
        "I never meant for him to find out like dat." He admitted regretfully. "I only had a short amount of time ta get it done and I barely had time to drop off his gift." His gaze lifted questioningly. "Did he like it, Tara? What I got him?"   
        "He was speechless, Ray." She informed gently and the detective smiled slightly, pleased. "But he was still so upset about you not staying to see him, even just leaving him a note." Ray sighed.   
        "I know, but...I didn't have a lotta time and I couldn't find da words ta say what I wanted to." He stated as he folded his arms across his chest. "A lot has changed and I had ta make some decisions and get some things done in a hurry."   
        "So, are you coming back to the department?" she inquired eagerly.   
        "Ah...well..." he hinged, his nervous habit of pulling on the lobe of his ear proved to her that he was still the same hesitantly shy man that had left, just as Lieutenant Welsh stepped out of his office and caught sight of him.   
        "Well I'll be..." he began, walking over, as Ray slid off his perch, and Welsh extended a hand to his former subordinate. "Kowalski, it's about damn time you got back to doin' some real work." Ray chuckled and shook the Lieutenant's hand.   
        "Hey, Sir." He greeted smiling. "Things fallin' apart without me, huh?" Welsh rolled his eyes.   
        "Hell no, I just got everything back the way I like it." He teased. "My detective's actually work for a living now."   
        "Can't have everything." Ray retorted still smiling. "I see ya gave away my desk quick enough, and ta any ol' rookie off da street no less." Tara punched him in the arm.   
        "Watch it Bud." She warned. "This rookie is gaining on your arrest record."   
        "Good." Ray laughed. "But ya'll never beat it."   
        "Watch me." She challenged folding her arms over her chest as she leaned against the desk. "I've got the Kowalski charm down pat, just act like I have no where to go and nothing to do."   
        "Dat's da ticket." He agreed. "But don't forget ta kick a few heads now and then." Tara laughed and Welsh shook his head at them.   
        "Don't encourage her, Detective." He warned, though his eyes were flashing with amusement. "So, are you done running around with those other monkeys? Ready to turn my precinct upside down again?" Ray lowered his eyes for a moment and ran a hand through his hair. "Gonna have ta get that cut now, Kowalski."   
        "Um...I gotta talk to ya about dat, Sir." Ray stated quietly. Welsh grinned.   
        "I'm kiddin', ya can keep the hippie look if..."   
        "No no, Sir." Ray amended, as his eyes caught sight of Francesca Vecchio returning to her desk. "But I'll explain dat later. "I'll be back in a minute." Tara and Welsh exchanged a quiet glance as they watched him walk over to the pretty civilian aid and crouch next to her seat.   
        "Hi, Frannie." He greeted softly as she stared at him in shock, she'd almost stopped expecting him to walk into the station any day for the last six months, and now here he was looking finer then ever. She quickly composed herself and turned her attention to her computer.   
        "Welcome home, Mr. Kowalski." She returned coolly. She couldn't help it, seeing him again, so near, after all she had gone through when he left, just left her feeling angrier then ever with him. "Are you staying for awhile or just passing through?" Out of the corner of her eye she saw him advert his gaze for a moment before raising them to look at her again.   
        "Dat kinda depends on you, Frannie." He commented quietly, and she couldn't help but glance at him surprised  "Can...will ya come outside wit me, so we can talk?"   
        "I'm working." Francesca protested as Ray glanced at his watch.   
        "Had yer break yet?" he asked hopefully and she shook her head slowly. "Take it now. Please, Frannie I need to talk to ya and I don't want to say it here." Francesca looked like she was going to agree, but then she shook her head firmly and turned back to her computer.   
        "I'm busy right now." She decided and Ray sighed.   
        "How about dinner den?" he offered and she shook her head.   
        "I can't I...I have some last minute shopping ta do fer Ma."   
        "Frannie, aren't ya even gonna give me a chance ta explain?" he requested quietly and she could hear the frustration in his tone.   
        "I'm sorry Ray," she excused. "Christmas is only a few days away and I'm really busy. I didn't expect ya to come waltzin' back in here, so I made other plans." Ray stared at her for a long time, but he could see that she was telling the truth, even id she was stretching it slightly to deny him time to speak with her.   
        "Okay, Frannie." He agreed straightening to his full height. He reached across her desk and grabbed a note pad and pen, then wrote down a phone number. "Here's my new number, call me if ya get time." He left the pad on her desk and reached over to gently caress her cheek with his finger, then pulled back reluctantly. He started to move away and a churning rose within her unexpectedly.   
         "Ray!" she called out, rising from her chair, the fear that he was walking out on her for a second time prompting her into motion. Francesca wanted to throw herself into his arms and cry and never let him go, but something held her back. Something had changed with him and she sensed the difference, as subtle as it was. He turned back and smiled at her.   
        "I'm not goin' anywhere, Sweetness." He assured, as though he sensed her concern. "I'll be around."   
        She bit her lip and nodded, willing the moistness to clear from her eyes as she settled back at her desk shakily. He was here; he wasn't going away again. He would await her decision on if there would be a future for them. But how could she decide that on her own? She glanced back at him speaking quietly with Detective Chang, then forced her attention back to the work on her desk.   
  

        Fraser heard a low grunt as Diefenbaker found the interloper they heard walking into the Consulate, later that evening as they were preparing to lock up and go home.   
        "Get offa me ya darned mutt!" Ray Kowalski was laughing as Diefenbaker slobbered him with kisses from his pinned position on the floor.   
        "Ray!" Fraser exclaimed immediately moving over and pulling the delighted wolf off his friend. "You're back?"   
        "Trust you ta state da obvious, Fraser." Ray chuckled, as he wiped at his face and rose to his feet. Fraser stared at him, as though not believing his own eyes that his best friend and partner was standing before him. He looked only slightly different, because of his longer hair, and his long coat gave him a roguish air. "Ray." He began again. "When?  When did you return? Are you still working undercover? What..."   
        "Slow down, Fraser." Ray chuckled as he bent to scratch Diefenbaker's ears affectionately. "I can't think at da speed of sound like you do. I got here a just now."   
         "I meant when did you return to Chicago, Ray." Fraser amended. "Not when did you get here to the Consulate." Ray shrugged.   
        "A few days ago, but I've been really busy Fraser, dat's why I haven't been ta see ya." He stated, then after a long pause he continued. "I wasn't real sure if you wanted me to."   
        "Of course I would." Fraser admonished. "Ray, I...I'm terribly sorry for..." Ray waved a dismissive hand at him.   
        "I was an ass, Ben." He conceded. "You were right, I was running away. But I'll never run from anything again." Ray smiled at the emotional Mountie.   
        "You...then we are still partners, Ray?" Fraser pressed still unsure.   
         "If you'll have me?" Ray offered and Fraser suddenly pulled the other man into his arms for a warm hug.   
        "Always." He whispered in Ray's ear and Ray grinned and hugged him back. "I truly am sorry, Ray." Ray pulled back and locked his gaze to Fraser's.   
        "It's over." He assured.  "Dot it, file it, stick it in a box marked done." Fraser nodded and smiled "Did ya like yer gift?"   
        "I love it, Ray." He admitted affectionately. "It's the most wonderful gift I have ever received, but I haven't anything for you. I was unsure if you would even be home and..."   
        "Frase! Fraser!" Ray warned, with a small grin. "It's okay, Buddy. Besides, I got somethin' ya can give me fer Christmas dat would be better dan anything else ya could ever get me."   
        "What would that be, Ray?" Fraser inquired curious but the detective just smiled secretly and pulled out a piece of paper with an phone number written on it in Ray's bold script.   
        "Call me in a few days and we'll talk."   
        "You can't tell me now, Ray?" Fraser protested he hated waiting for something when his curiosity had been roused.   
        "Nope, I still got some things to do."  He decided firmly and started to move back toward the door, Dief at his heels. He bent to give the wolf another quick scratch, them pulled the front door open.   
        "Are...are you leaving again, Ray?" Fraser asked anxiously following him out to the treasured GTO, because he simply had to know if his friend would be remaining in Chicago. "I...I noticed that everything had been moved from your apartment and..."   
         "I'll be around, Fraser." The detective assured as he unlocked the car.   
        "What about Christmas Ray?" Fraser reminded catching the door before Ray could open it. "Christmas is only four days away and..."   
        "You ain't goin' ta the Vecchio's?" Ray asked knowingly and Fraser nodded.   
        "Tara and I will be in attendance for Christmas dinner, but not until noon." He assured "We could spend the morning with you if..." Ray grinned and rocked back on his heels.   
        "Can I assume dat you finally took da plunge and got yerself a girl, den, Buddy?" he inquired and Fraser blushed and lowered his eyes.   
        "I... Detective Chang and I...we have been...dating yes, Ray."   
        "Dat's great, Frase." Ray offered impressed. "Really, I mean it. Ya deserve it."   
        "Thank you kindly, Ray." His partner replied. "Then you will spend the holidays with us?"  Ray thought for a long moment, then shook his head.   
        "Nah, you two lovebirds should get time to yerselves." He ignored his friend's flush and slid behind the wheel. "But if you and yer lady wanna come by Christmas Eve, I'll fix somethin' fer dinner."   
        "We'd like that, Ray." Fraser accepted kindly. "But surely you aren't going to spend the holidays alone?"   
        "No, Fraser." Ray confirmed, as he turned the key in the ignition. "I won't be alone fer da holidays, don't worry. See ya later." He closed the door and pulled away before Fraser could ask whom his partner was spending the holidays with. Dief whined next to him.   
        "I'm sure I have no idea." He told the wolf perplexed. "We will just have to wait until Sunday, I suppose." Dief sighed and headed back inside. "Indeed." Fraser agreed following him.   
  

        "Hi!" Tara greeted her favorite Mountie as he and Diefenbaker entered the apartment.   
        He smiled and set his hat on a shelf beside the door, as the wolf ran over to greet their guest. She lavished him with kisses, murmuring what a good and pretty boy he was then pulled a treat from her pocket for him. Fraser shook his head as Diefenbaker wolfed down the milk bone.   
        "You spoil him." He scolded as he removed his Sam Brown and unfastened the many buttons and buckles of his red Serge. "He's becoming insufferable, you know." Tara nodded and rose to move behind him to relieve him of the tunic, then draped it carefully over the back of the sofa.   
        "I thought he was already insufferable?" she teased, grabbing his suspenders and pulling him close for a quick kiss.  "Guess who I saw today?"   
        "Ray Kowalski?" Fraser replied smiling and she gaped at him, then grinned and shook her head.   
         "Came to see you did he?" she guessed and Fraser nodded. So that was what had put the color back in his cheeks and the bounce in his step. "You two catch up?" He nodded and allowed her to lead him over to the sofa, settling beside him comfortably.   
        "He'd like us to spend Christmas Eve with him." Fraser supplied. "I hope that will be alright?"   
        "Of course." She assured. Like Fraser she had no family to spend the holidays with, only an older brother back in Okinawa that she rarely even spoke to. "I guess you two worked things out again?" Fraser nodded almost shyly, as she rose and settled on his lap to snuggle. "I'm happy for you Benton."   
        "As am I." Fraser sighed, his eyes catching sight of the brightly colored rolls of gift-wrap on the floor. "Did I interrupt your Christmas wrapping?"   
        "Oh no." she replied, settling her head against his shoulder and placing her hand over his heart, memorizing the rhythm. "I had wanted to tell you in person about seeing Ray and I was just wrapping up those things we bought the other day while I waited for you to get home." She tapped his nose and wagged a finger at him. "No peaking because there are some things in there for you."   
        "For me?" Fraser repeated in delight. "What?"   
        "You'll find out Christmas morning." She decided firmly.   
        "Not even a hint." He teased, pretending to be put out and she shook her head.   
        "Nope, nothing until Christmas." She awarded. "Your powers of deduction are too astute, you'd guess no matter how small a hint I gave."   
        "There are ways to make you talk." He warned, his eyes laughing at her.   
        "Do your worst, Mountie Man." She bluffed. "I'm not afraid of you." Fraser smiled and wrapped his arms around her in a tender embrace as he kissed the top of her head.   
        "Good." He murmured. "I hope you never will be." She smiled and raised her face to accept the kiss she sensed he was ready for. Fraser claimed her mouth with a slow deliberation, kissing her thoroughly before finally releasing her for much needed oxygen. She offered him a sexy smile and waved her hand back and forth over her face.   
        "Wooh!" she teased. "Hot in here, isn't it?" Fraser smiled and pulled her close for another kiss. "Mmmhhmm."   
She melted against him, as she always did and felt Fraser's hand move from her hip to the buttons of her blouse. Her eyes flickered open in surprise, but she didn't protest as his fingers pulled the fabric free of each individual fastener. His eyes met hers and she saw a lustful desire in their blue depths, but also a request for permission. In response she rose up slightly so she could straddle him, without ever breaking their kiss.  She could feel his arousal hard against her and she offered a silent prayer to one Ray Kowalski for making Fraser feel whole again and sure enough to take the leap they were about to take.   
        "Tara." He breathed huskily, finally breaking the hot fusion of their mouths. "A...are you sure you...."   
        "Benton." She sighed rocking against him suggestively. "I've been waiting months to do this, don't get shy on me now." He smiled, even as the blush rose in his cheeks and wrapped his arms around her. He rose from the sofa and lifted her with him, carrying her toward his bedroom.   
        "How would you feel about a night under the stars?" he whispered and she coiled her arms around his neck and snuggled into his neck.   
        "I think I couldn't ask for a better Christmas present." She returned softly.   
  

        Ray wandered out of the electronic store, in the upper level of the mall and shifted the bag he held to his left hand, so his right would be ready to reach for his weapon if needed. He smirked and shook his head; old habits die hard, but the last time he was in this mall a man was killed in front of them and neither Ray, Welsh or Inspector Thatcher could ascertain the true killer, between the young couple they had arrested for the crime. He hated shopping, especially so close to Christmas, when the stores were at maximum occupancy, but he'd had to pick up a few extras to put under the tree.   
        He was starting to get thirsty so he headed for the food court to buy a drink and spotted a familiar brunette among the throng of people at the crowded tables. She was sipping a cup of hot chocolate and picking at the small salad she had bought, lost in thought and oblivious to the noise around her. Ray stopped at the nearest eatery and ordered a coffee, then he wound his way through the horde of Christmas shoppers.   
        "Dis seat taken?" he asked softly and Francesca glanced up, startled. She immediately lowered them, but shook her head and he settled in the chair opposite her.   
        "Are ya followin' me now?" she demanded quietly, keeping her attention on the plate of vegetables before her.   
        "No." he denied calmly, showing her his shopping bag before settling beside his leg. "I had ta pick up some things too." She glanced at the bag then returned her gaze to her salad. They sat quietly for a long time, each occasionally reaching for their drink, or glancing around at the passing people.   
        "I...I guess we can talk here, if ya want." She finally suggested. "Say what ya want to say."   
A crowded mall was not exactly the kind of place Ray had considered for their talk, but he honestly didn't know if Francesca would give him another chance to speak his piece. He finished his coffee, but continued to play with the cup, as he released a long, slow breath.   
        "I missed you." He offered, but Francesca kept her attention on the crowd around them.   
        "Whose fault is dat?" she retorted without even sparing him a glance and he scowled.   
    "Jeez, ya been takin' lessons from Fraser or what?" he demanded, then forced his temper back. "Look, I ain't askin' ya ta fergive me fer runnin' off like I did, even though I really did have a good reason at the time." She opened her mouth to protest but he started speaking again. "Just da same, I'll say I'm sorry fer dat but I ain't appologizin' to you fer what happened before, we were both right and both wrong in some of dat."   
         Francesca had decided that herself, after months of missing him had forced her to relive their last time together again and again. She could finally see that she had been wrong to accuse Ray of those things, just as he had been wrong to keep his feelings and fears from her about having another baby.   
        "So...what then?" she demanded tenaciously. "Where does dat leave us?"   
        "Is dere an us, still, Frannie?" Ray's gaze held an uncertainty she had seen many times before, as she saw his eyes fall on the bracelet she still wore. She glanced down at her hands, as they lay on the table between them.   
        "I don't know, Ray." She answered honestly and she heard Ray sigh.   
        "Okay, den." He agreed. "Dat's better den a definite no, at least."   
        "Do...do ya want dis back?" She had already moved to release the charm from her wrist but his fingers closed over hers and he shook his head. "Until we..."   
        "No matter what happens wit us, Frannie," he began. "Dat's yers ta keep. I gave it to you and it's yers now." Tears formed in her eyes and she had to look away as he pulled back and stood to regard her quietly. "I gotta tell ya straight Frannie, my life is...different now. I...I still want you ta be apart of it, but I ain't gonna push ya. I do need ta explain some things to ya, either way, but not here wit so many people around. Maybe...maybe you'll let me take ya ta dinner or somethin' one day okay?" She nodded, because she honestly didn't know what else to do.   
        "O...okay." She agreed softly.   
        "Are you done shoppin'?"  He inquired and she nodded. "Can I walk ya to yer car?"   
        "Sure." She agreed hesitantly, then realized she did want Ray to walk with her, it would give her more time with him, despite her confusion and hurt, she still wanted to be near him.   
        He grabbed the bags she had settled on the only other chair at the table, as she rose, and offered her a small smile. She glanced away and quickly buttoned her coat and pulled on her gloves, noticing that Ray left his leather raglan open and his own gloves tucked in his pocket.   
        Together they headed through the mall to where Francesca had parked at one of the lower entrances. The snow was gently falling again, as they stepped out and Francesca's boots slipped on the fresh layer, but Ray caught her arm and kept her from falling. She smiled her thanks at him and noticed he maintained his hold on her as they crossed the slick parking lot to find her car.   
        "Oh no!" she cried in distress as they neared her tiny Ford Escort and she realized that she had left her lights on.   
She opened the door and slid into the driver's seat, quickly pushing the key into the ignition and trying to get the engine started. After a few failed attempts she hit the wheel in frustration and blinked at the tears rushing to her eyes.   
        This entire day had been a disaster for her, first she had messed up on a special file for Welsh, and then Ray had shown up and turned her world upside down. She had spilled her lunch all over her clothes at the precinct, because she had been preoccupied over Ray's return, so she had to run home and change and was late getting back. Then she had to stay late to make up for her tardiness at lunch, so by the time she had gotten to the mall the stores were already packed and she couldn't find half of what she had come for. Now this, her battery was dead and she was going to have to call her brother and listen to him lecture her on vehicle safety and being so forgetful, while she pleaded for a ride home.   
        "It's not worth cryin' over, Sweetness." Ray informed gently, as he handed her a handkerchief to wipe her tears. He had developed the habit of carrying one working with Fraser. "I'll take ya home. Ya can come back fer yer car in da mornin'."   
        "I...I'm just so stupid!" she wailed in exasperation and Ray hid his smile.   
        "Yer not stupid, Frannie." He defended. "It happens ta all kinds a people." He pulled her door open further in invitation. "Com'ahn, it's too cold ta stay out here bawlin', yer face will freeze an' ya'll be an Italian Popsicle." She sniffed and smiled a little, feeling better. Ray could always make her feel better and stop her self-incriminations. She wiped at her tears and blew her nose.   
        "Thanks." She offered shyly, as she stepped out and locked the car back up. "Where are you parked?"   
        "On da other side." He returned calmly and she stared at him surprised as they walked carefully back to the mall entrance.   
        "Then why did ya walk me all the way over here?" she asked puzzled.   
        "Dis was where ya were parked, Frannie." He reminded and handed her the bags, as they stepped inside the doors and accompanying warmth. "Stay here and I'll drive around."   
        "I'll come..." she began but he shook his head.   
        "It'll be faster if I run and bring it here, Frannie." He assured. "I don't want you ta slip and hurt yerself." He headed back outside and she watched him disappear around the corner of the building.   
         She tried to quell the anxious shivering that suddenly hit her at the prospect of riding home with Ray, so close and yet so far. She had half a notion to ask her to bring her back to his place, just to see what might happen if they were alone together. She had over heard Tara comment, after the detective had left the station that day that he no longer lived at the same apartment building as he had before and she wondered where he was living and why he had moved.   
She glanced up as the GTO pulled up to the door and he got out to help her make it across the slippery walk safely. He stored their packages in the back seat, settled her in front, and then slid behind the wheel. They both automatically pulled their safety belts across them and Ray turned the heater on blast to warm the car quickly.   
        "All set?" he tossed with a grin and she nodded.   
        He pulled away from the curb and wound his way around the mall to the main freeway. His cell phone rang and he reached into his pocket to retrieve it.   
        "Yah?" he greeted as he drove up the entrance ramp and smoothly merged with the oncoming traffic. "Hey! I'll be home soon." He promised the caller as he turned on his signal and glanced back before switching into a faster lane.    "Sure, sounds good. Whatever you make will be greatness, as long as I don't have ta cook-we do want ta make it to Christmas right?"   
         Francesca couldn't help casting him a curious glance. Who was he going home to? She wondered and felt the stirrings of jealousy pierce at her heart. He caught her watching him and smiled that incredibly sexy smile at her, causing a commotion of another kind deep within her. She looked away and tried not to listen to his conversation, or wonder about the mysterious caller. His voice grew quieter, he said a few other things she didn't quiet make out the he ended the call and tossed the phone on the seat between them.   
        "I assume ya still live in da same place?" He inquired, and it took Francesca a moment to realize he was now speaking to her. She nodded and he took the next turn off. "Gonna spend Christmas wit yer family?" Again she nodded as she continued to stare out the passenger window, rather than look into his handsome features and loose herself in those extraordinary ever-changing blue-green eyes.   
        "Benton and Tara will be coming by too." She commented quietly, receiving only another smile from him, before he turned his eyes back to the road.   
        She bit her lower lip to keep from inviting him along as well. Let him spend the holidays with whoever he was hurrying home to, she didn't care. Yah, sure she didn't care, that's why she was close to tears again for the third time that day.  Get a grip Frannie! He's only been back a day and you're already a mess.   
        Ray pulled onto her street a few moments later and the wave of familiarity hit them both like an ocean tide over the sand. How many times had he driven her home from the station, or from a night of dinner and dancing? He and Fraser had cruised this street regularly when he was posing as Ray Vecchio and almost as often once he and Francesca started dating.   
        With a quiet deliberation, he pulled into the Vecchio's drive behind the green Rivera, the forth one her brother had managed to find after his had exploded into flames the day Fraser had returned from Canada, and ended up in lake Michigan. Ray shut off the engine but neither made a move to get out.   
        "Thanks for driving me home." Francesca offered quietly as she slowly released her seat belt.   
        "Anytime." He assured just as softly and meant it. He would drive her anywhere she wanted to go at any given moment, if it meant being near her.   
        "So...ummm...you goin' to yer folks fer Christmas?" she couldn't help asking.   
        "Nah, " he denied, his fingers tracing an imaginary pattern on the steering wheel. "Dey're in Arizona, visitin' my brother and his family. Dey'll be back around New Years."   
        "So...you'll be alone then?" she pressed, hating herself for caring if he was or not.   
        "Fraser and Chang might stop by Christmas Eve." He stated. "Maybe have dinner or somethin'." Francesca nodded.   
        "W...what about Christmas Day?" she continued, wishing her mouth would just stay shut. Ray shrugged.   
        "I'll be at home." He decided, with no mention of company. "My new one. Why, ya wanna come by and visit me?"   
        "I...I don't..." she shook her head and reached back for her packages. "Probably not. We...we'll have a full house here." Ray nodded.   
        "I understand." He returned, as the door to the household opened and Maria stood glancing out. Her eyes widened when she saw who was parked in their driveway as her sister stepped out of the car. "Can ya make it okay?"   
        "Yes, thanks." She replied. "M...Merry Christmas Ray."   
        "Same to you, Frannie." He returned with a small smile. "Tell yer Ma and everybody I wish da same fer dem."   
        "I...." I love you Ray! She wanted to shout, but instead she just nodded and closed the door. "I will." She promised and turned to start up the walk toward her curious sibling.   
        Ray waited until she reached the door, before he backed out of the drive and started back down the street, unaware of the two Vecchio women watching, one particular with longing in her eyes. Maria tossed an arm over her sister's shoulder comfortingly and guided her inside the warmth of the house.   
    
  

        "This is it." Tara agreed as they pulled up to the neatly kept, white with green trim split level home, in her small jeep. "1414 Travis Street." Fraser did not see a car in the driveway and frowned.   
        "It doesn't look like Ray is here." He commented, even as they stepped out of the jeep and started up the well-shoveled drive to the front door. He noticed there were a string of Christmas lights along the windows and eves, but were not lit due to it still being day light. A large welcoming Christmas wreath hung on the door and tiny silver bells dangled from the doorway.   
         Fraser pressed his gloved finger to the doorbell and adjusted his Stetson back away from his face slightly. He had left Diefenbaker at the Vecchio's, who were more then happy to have him, because he was unsure what sort of new home Ray had and if they even allowed animals in the building. He had been surprised to learn Ray had bought a house and he made a silent promise to himself to make it up to the wolf. Fraser had stopped at his apartment and changed out of his Serge into his casuals and Tara held a house warming/Christmas gift from both of them.   
        He heard the sound of something sliding across the door, possibly a peep hole cover, then the door opened and a pretty young girl, that looked no older then sixteen if that, smiled at them. She sported a honey blond, shoulder length bob, sparkling dark eyes, long slender legs under blue denims and a red and white Christmas sweater. Fraser wondered if Ray had given them the wrong address.   
        She waved them inside, opening the door further to allow them entry. The couple hesitated, as they exchanged a curious glance then stepped inside the warmth of the house. She reached automatically for their coats and Fraser's Stetson, which he handed her.   
         "Thank you kindly." He managed politely as she hung up their jackets in the small vestibule and carefully placed Fraser's Stetson on the tiny corner table opposite.   
        She escorted them into the large living area, where furniture and still packed boxes were placed haphazardly about the room, waved at them to find a seat then moved to pull the curtains back and glanced out. Some of the furniture was familiar; other seemed to be new. Ray's stereo sat against one corner of the room, along with a collection of his CD's tapes and records.   
        One of his deep comfortable chairs sat opposite a dark green sofa and matching chair. With solid, handcrafted pine wood coffee table and end tables accenting the set. A large green, gray and ivory floor rug rested beneath the quaint sitting area. A large wall unit held a large screen TV, VCR and assorted videos bric a brac and Christmas tree sat in one corner, closest to the window, waiting to be decorated.   
        Fraser and Tara watched the young girl puzzled, both wondering if she was the reason Ray had said he was not spending the holidays alone, but she couldn't be more then sixteen and Ray certainly wouldn't...His thoughts were interrupted as they heard the front door open and close, then the sounds of boots walking across the hard wood floor toward them.   
        "Hey!" Ray greeted upon seeing them as the girl rushed over and helped him shrug out of his heavy coat and scarf, then relieved him of the parcels he had brought in with him. "Ya made it. Where's Dief?"   
        "I was unsure what sort of residence you had acquired, Ray, so I asked if I could leave him at Ray Vecchio's." Fraser returned, still puzzled by the scene he was witnessing between his partner and the girl.   
        "Oh." Ray replied disappointed. "Well, maybe ya can go get him in a little while and bring him by, they're just three streets over." The girl was whispering something in his ear and Ray chuckled and shook his head as he pulled off his gloves.   
        "None of yer business." He informed, his eyes twinkling. "And you stay out of those packages." He turned back to his friends and caught the girl's hand firmly. "I had ta run out and get a few things. Dis is Amanda, or Mandy fer short. Mandy, dis is Sergeant Major Benton Fraser and Detective Tara Chang, the friends I told ya about." Mandy nodded shyly then hurried out of the room as Ray moved over to his friends. "Did ya have trouble finding da place?" he asked as he moved to set the packages to the side of another pile of boxes.   
        "No, Ray." Fraser returned quietly, but Tara was more direct.   
        "Ray? Who the hell is this girl? Does she live here? You can get in trouble for that." Ray laughed and waved his hand at her.   
        "It's not like dat." He assured, amused as the pitter patter of running feet could be heard coming down the hallway and a moment later a small blur of blue and white was hurling toward Ray's legs. "Dere's my boy!" The detective cried in delight as he lifted the excited toddler, who looked very similar to Mandy, into his arms and swung him high in the air. The boy giggled with pleasure, until Ray finally pulled him closer to his chest and turned to face their guests. "Dis is Nathan." Ray introduced affectionately. "Say hi to Fraser and Tara, Nat."   
        "Hi!" the boy greeted loudly, startling them, and then he curled shyly into Ray's shoulder.   
.         "Nat's my boy, aren't ya?" Ray was smiling at the child so lovingly and the boy returned his adoration, coiling his tiny arms around the detective's neck and snuggling further, still hiding his eyes from the stranger. "Or ya will be soon."   
        "Ray, please!" Fraser insisted he was ready to explode with curiosity. Ray grinned, as Mandy returned with a small teddy bear and held it out to Nathan smiling.   
        "What's sissy got?" Ray wondered as the boy's eyes grew wide and his tiny hands reached for the toy.   
        "Sarlie!" Nathan exclaimed as Mandy handed him the bear and he hugged it to his chest.   
        "Charlie Bear, dat's right." Ray confirmed as he handed the toddler back to the girl next to him. "You go play wit Charlie and I'll come see ya in just a minute, okay?" Nathan accepted this and went easily to his sister, who headed back down the hall, possibly to the stairs that Fraser had caught a glimpse of earlier.   
        "Ray?" Tara demanded. "What is going on?"   
        "Sit down and I'll explain it to ya." Ray suggested as he selected one of the bags that he had bought in with him and settled in the green leather chair as Fraser and Tara resumed their position on the sofa. "About my second month undercover with the DEA, we busted dis crack house. We took the two dealers ta jail and confiscated what was dere, only we hadn't bargained on findin' Mandy and Nat."   
        "Hell of a place to raise kids." Tara muttered and Ray nodded in agreement as he pulled out a few boxes of tree lights and began to separate them.   
         "One of da dealers was Mandy's uncle," Ray explained. "He had taken her and Nathan in after their mum died given' birth to the boy and he was her only livin' relative.  Unfortunately he was a scum bag, dealing drugs out of the house and usin' Mandy as an incentive to prospective buyers."   
        "You don't mean..." Fraser stared at him shocked and Ray nodded grimly, as he pulled the tabs off the plastic racks to release the coils of twinkle lights.   
        "Mandy couldn't do much to protect herself, Frase. Her uncle told her dat if she didn't do as he said, he'd call Social Services and her and Nathan would be separated and probably never see each other again."   
        "Bastard." Tara cursed.   
        "Yah." Ray agreed as he pulled another bag from next to the chair and scooted it across to Fraser. "Open dose fer me, will ya?" Fraser reached into the bag and pulled out similar boxes, mimicking Ray's movements with the lights as Ray continued. "He was a real sonovabitch alright, but Mandy had made a promise to her Mum ta take care of her little brother and she did what she could." He shook his head angrily. "She was pretty messed up when we found her, her uncle and his partner beat her regular, but she always managed ta keep the bastards away from Nat, though he was severely undernourished because da assholes wouldn't give Mandy money to feed her brother or herself half da time."   
        He rose and took the strings of lights over by the tree to plug them in and make sure they were working, then pulled them from the socket and laid them out on the floor, untangled, before returning for the ones Fraser had. The Mountie rose and met him half way. They checked those lights, and then Ray selected one of the coils and started trimming the higher branches.   
         "Anyway," he concluded as he continued his task, with Fraser passing him the another coil to link with the first. "Ta make a long story short, I was on da team what found her and she sort of...took ta me. She wouldn't let no one else touch her or Nat but me, not even when dey had ta take her and da boy to the hospital." Ray paused looping the lights through one of the branches; his eyes glittered with fury and sadness. "I haven't gotten her ta tell me everything her uncle did ta her, but I can make a fair guess of what happened and I'm pretty sure she was molested more dan once."   
        "How awful." Fraser murmured sympathetically, as he stared down at the lights in his hands remorsefully "She must be a very strong young woman to have maintained the care of her brother and herself through such an ordeal."   
        "She's pretty brave." Ray admitted, a hint of pride in his voice, as he finished with the coil he had and accepted the third from Fraser. "I don't think I woulda been able ta stand goin' through dat at her age."   
        "How old is she?" Tara inquired.   
        "Only fourteen." Ray replied and they stared at him shocked. "Looks older I know, but hey with what she's been through..." Fraser and Tara nodded in agreement.   
    "So how did they come to be here with you, Ray?" the Mountie questioned and Ray smirked again, as Fraser helped him reach the inside lower branches with the last string of lights.   
        "Well, since she was so afraid of social services splitting' her and Nat up, and da only one she seemed ta trust was me, I asked the judge ta give me temporary custody, until we could find a family that would accept them both." He sighed. "Bein' a cop was not in my favor, but when da judge saw that Mandy would only even speak to me she decided to give it a try."   
        "She can talk then?" Tara asked, for the girl had said nothing to them when they arrived.   
        "Yah, she can talk." He assured smiling. "She's just real cautious around strangers, can't really blame her fer dat." He rose and offered his hand to Fraser, who was still on his knees beside the tree. The Mountie grasped it and allowed Ray to help him up.   
        "So, what did you mean that Nathan was going to be yours Ray?" He inquired and the detective looked slightly embarrassed.   
        "I've had em' almost four months now Frase." He defended quietly. "I've gotten Mandy ta where she'll open up and she's not afraid so much anymore. She talks ta me, she trusts me and Nathan is just the greatest little guy. Everything is brand new fer him." Ray smiled fondly. "Dey both kinda made me put my life in perspective. I...I wanna keep 'em and dey want ta stay wit me."   
        "But you can't just take on all this responsibility alone, Ray." Tara cautioned. "You'll never be able to adopt them as a single parent, and a cop at that."   
        "Well, I know dat." He returned. "Da single parent thing I'm workin' on. As fer bein' a cop, I'm not anymore."   
        "What?" both Fraser and Tara demanded in shock and Ray grabbed a couple more bags and started pulling out the boxes of ornaments he had purchased and setting them carefully on the tables around them   
    "Dat's what I was talkin' ta Welsh about Saturday at da station.. About a month ago, I was tryin' ta tag dis guy known fer sellin' smack ta da kids at a local high school." Ray explained quietly, keeping his eyes lowered away from them. "I was given' him my spiel, y'know, how I was lookin' ta score and stuff, when dis nutcase starts firin' a semi automatic into the crowd of kids dat were comin' out fer the day. I reacted on instinct and charged the fucker." Ray bit his lip and grinned contritely, his eyes automatically glancing toward the hall to see if the kids were around to hear him.   
        "Oops, gotta watch dat." He reminded himself, as he settled on the floor and began opening the boxes. Fraser and Tara automatically moved to help him. As he continued speaking.  "So, anyway, I had my gun out and was yellin' at him ta drop his weapon, but he just kept shootin'." Ray shook his head slowly. "I don't know quite what happened den, I guess I musta tried ta take him down bodily, but next thing me and him were suddenly flyin' out into da street, right into da path of an on coming truck."   
        "Ray!" Fraser gasped, unable to stand it any longer, as he rose and approached the detective, who had suddenly risen and moved to the window to look out at the falling snow. "Why didn't you call me? How badly were you hurt? How could you have been so..."   
        "I know it was stupid, Fraser!" Ray snapped, silencing the Mountie effectively, then he offered his partner a small, grim smile. "I don't always think straight when kids are involved and this sonovabitch was mowin' down seven and eight year olds in front of me."   
        "I...I apologize, Ray." Fraser offered, knowing he wouldn't have been able to stand by and do nothing either in that situation. Ray shrugged.   
        "S'kay." He replied solemnly. " Luckily none of 'em died and I stopped it before he could hit anymore. Anyway, somehow I went up and over while da other guy went under da wheels." Fraser and Tara lowered their eyes in sympathy. "Doctors said it killed him right den. Lucky compared ta what I woulda done if any of dose kids had died." He shook off his anger. "Anyway, I had hit da windshield pretty hard when I bounced and da glass shattered and some of it stuck into me."   
        "But you were okay?" Tara pressed, for obviously the detective looked relatively fit and healthy standing before them.   
        "I...well...no." Ray denied and Fraser felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Pieces of da windshield got shoved pretty hard into my side and lower back. Dey had ta remove one of my kidneys and a small piece of my spleen ta keep me from dyin' on da operation' table." Fraser gasped in distress.   
        "My God, Ray!"   
        "Dey said the damage to my spinal cord is small, compared to what it could have been, but dere's a small piece of glass stuck dere dat dey couldn't remove without a possibility of bein' paralyzed. So, as long as it doesn't move anytime in da near future, I'm good."   
        "You mean, you could still end up paralyzed?" Tara demanded distressed and Ray nodded.   
        "Only if it moves, and dey told me da things ta avoid doin' ta try and keep dat from happenin, but dey can guarantee it still won't move at some point. " He released a long slow breath. "Only problem is I can't be a cop wit one kidney and glass in my back." He glanced at their stricken faces and tried to sooth their fears. "Hey, it ain't da end of da world and I already got another career picked out."   
        "What's that, Ray?" Fraser asked, respecting his friend's wish to move on to a better subject.   
        "I'm gonna open a detective agency, Frase." Ray informed grinning. "I can keep my investigators licence and I already got a loan to start 'er. If I call in a few favors from some of my contacts I'll be good ta go in no time."   
        "That's wonderful, Ray." Fraser managed, trying not to dwell on the thought that he and Ray would still not be working together. "I wish you the best of luck."   
        "We'll need it, Buddy." Ray replied folding his arms across his chest and smiling at the Mountie.   
        "We, Ray?" Fraser returned his gaze puzzled.   
        "Yah, ya don't think I'd go into business without my partner, do ya?"   
        "Y...Your partner?" Fraser gasped in disbelief as Ray pulled out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to the Mountie.   
    "Ya did say ya'd have me as yer partner, remember?" Ray teased as Fraser unfolded the paper inside and gapped in astonishment. It was a lease and copyright form with Ray and Fraser's name on it for No Borders Detective Agency. Fraser stared at Ray in shock; a mixture of emotions running through him, but as always logic prevailed.   
        "I...I have no jurisdiction in the U.S.A, Ray." He reminded. "I wouldn't be permitted to..." Ray pulled something from his back pocket and handed it to the Mountie. It was a work permit, insuring that he could indeed maintain a proper job in Chicago if he so decided.   
    "I'm not askin' ya ta give up bein' a Mountie, Frase." Ray cautioned quickly, mistaking Fraser's dubious expression. "I know it means a lot ta follow in yer Dad's footsteps. The agency would be a part time gig fer ya, whenever ya wanted to work it, and later if ya wanna retire from the RCMP or something ya can do it full time wit me."   
        "B...but Ray." Fraser protested, trying to collect all the questions and doubts that were making his head swim. "If...if I am only working on my off hours, how can it be a fair partnership? You would be doing most of the work."   
        "Nah, it's good." Ray assured. "I might even hire some more people once we get goin', but Fraser I couldn't have anyone else as my partner but you." His smile held a trace of uncertainty. "Ya did say ya wanted ta give me somethin' fer Christmas, right? Dis is what I want, Ben."   
        Fraser's eyes glittered dangerously with the threat of tears as Ray spoke his given name. The detective rarely called him anything but Fraser, Frase, or Benton Buddy and on occasion freak, but Ray had only ever called him Ben a few times, mostly when they were still in Canada and it always involved something the Detective was deadly serious about. There was nothing to think about, he knew what his answer had to be.   
        "Yes, Ray." Ray's face brightened at the Mounties's reply. "Of course, yes. I would be honored."   
        "Sign yer name on da bottom line next ta mine, Buddy and we're set." Ray awarded him and turned his back so Fraser could lean the paper against him as Tara handed him a pen. He signed next to Kowalski's name, then handed the document back to his partner. They looked at each other for a long time, until finally Ray offered his hand. Fraser smiled and grasped it, then tugged a little to bring the smaller man into his embrace.   
        "Aww...a Polaroid moment and me without my camera." Tara teased and the two men pulled apart and wiped at their eyes discretely.   
    "How about we throw her out front in da snow bank, Fraser?" Ray retorted with a smile and Fraser shook his head and actually winked at Tara.   
        "Been there, done that, Ray." He informed and Ray gapped at him as Tara blushed, then all three of them laughed at the other's expression.   
        "Com'ahn," the detective requested moving toward the front door. "I got some more stuff ta bring in." Fraser followed him outside to the drive and Ray stopped behind a black Ford Expedition. He opened the back and handed a few of the grocery bags to the Mountie. Fraser stared at the vehicle in shock, surely the detective hadn't traded in the beloved GTO for this, as nice as the SUV was, and it didn't seem to fit Ray.   
        "Where is your car, Ray?" he questioned as Ray grabbed the last of the bags and closed the hatch.   
        "In the garage." Ray returned as they hurried back inside, careful not to slip on the slippery snow and ice beneath their feet. "I needed something with a little more room so I bought dat."   
        "It's very nice, Ray." Fraser offered, but he couldn't help the doubts that seemed to creep into his mind.   
         Ray had bought a house and a new truck, but how could he afford to do both simultaneously? A cop's salary was not what it should be, unless Ray made more working for the DEA then he had as a detective. As though reading his thoughts, Ray turned to him once they set the bags in the living room.   
        "I had quite a bit in savin's, Frase." He explained. "I never really had anyone to spend my money on so I was kinda thrifty with it. Plus I got some special compensation workin' at my last assignment, since I was technically hurt in da line of duty and dat didn't hurt me at all in the money department." Fraser nodded; slightly relieved though he knew Ray would never do anything illegal or immoral.   
        "I wasn't insinuating anything Ray." He assured as Amanda entered and brightened when she saw the decorations. Ray handed her a couple of the bags he had brought in.   
         "I know dat, Buddy." He assured as he smiled at Amanda. "Would you peel da potatoes and carrots fer me, and I'll be in ta help in just a bit." She nodded and set off for the kitchen, which lay opposite from the living room. " You should go pick up Dief and then I'll give you guys a tour of..." He paused and snapped his fingers. "Oops, almost forgot da pies." He hurried back outside and reached into the passenger seat of the Expedition for the two deserts he had picked up at the bakery.   
        "Ray?" A familiar voice called and he straightened from the vehicle and glanced toward the road, where Francesca Vecchio had pulled up.   
        "Hey." He greeted softly as he walked over to her. "How are you?"   
        "I...I'm fine." She assured puzzled. "A...are you visiting someone?"   
        "No, I live here, Frannie." He informed and watched her eyes widen in shock. She had driven this street many times, it was a short cut from the main roads to get to her house, but she had never dreamed of Ray leaving his apartment and moving so close.   
        "You...yer renting?" she almost squeaked and he shook his head.   
        "No, I bought it." He replied as he crouched down to get a better view of her through the car window. "Fraser and Tara are here, why don't you come in fer a few minutes?"   
        "I...I have to get back." She murmured and lowered her eyes. "Ma's waitin' fer me."   
        "Just a few minutes, Frannie?" he requested gently. "Say hello, I'll show ya around if ya like." He sensed her indecision and lay his fingers gently on her shoulder. "I'm not lookin' fer an answer about us, or expectin' anythin' more dan a nice visit. Please Frannie, consider it a Christmas gift fer me." She released a long slow breath and finally nodded. He moved out of the way, so she could park close to the curb then he pulled her door open for her.   
        "Just a few minutes." She reminded as he extended his free hand, since the pies were in the other.   
        "It's slippery." He explained when she hesitated before taking it. "I don't want you to fall." She nodded and let the warmth of his hand enfold hers as he guided her carefully up the drive to the front door. Fraser was standing there, he'd been coming to see what was taking Ray so long, and his expression brightened when he saw Francesca.   
        "Francesca!" he greeted pleased, as he moved back to allow them inside. "This is a nice surprise."   
        "Hi Ben." She returned shyly as the Mountie helped her out of her coat, scarf and gloves, while Ray firmly shut the door. Tara entered, having elected to help Amanda in the kitchen, and was wearing a small apron over her clothes. She welcomed Francesca with a smile and a warm embrace.   
        "Com'ahn." Ray offered as he headed back toward the kitchen. "I'll give ya da tour." They nodded and followed him into the large, modern kitchen, where he set the pies on the counter and moved toward Amanda, who had brought Nathan in to keep an eye on. The boy was seated in his high chair and immediately brightened and held his arms out for Ray expectantly.   
        "Aw, yer gettin' spoiled." Ray teased him, though he did not hesitate to lift the boy into his arms, as he turned to introduce them to his new guest. "Frannie, dis is Amanda and Nathan. Dey're stayin' wit me." Amanda smiled shyly and nodded a greeting from her position at the counter as Nat shyly curled into Ray's shoulder again. "Say hi Nat." The boy didn't respond at first, but Francesca moved closer to him, immediately taken with the charming lad.   
        "Hello, Nathan." She offered, though her eyes met Ray's in startled confusion. He gave her a brief version of what he had explained to Fraser and Tara, leaving out the parts of Amanda's abuse and his injuries at least for the moment. Francesca's gaze softened as she reached over to push a stray lock of Nathan's hair away from his face.   
        "He's shy." Ray offered as the boy pushed closer to him and coiled his tiny fingers into Ray's long hair, something Francesca had been tempted to do since she had first seen him.   
        "I'll stay and help Mandy with supper." Tara offered and Ray shook his head.   
        "It's almost done." He assured easily as he moved to place an arm over the girl's slim shoulders affectionately. "Mandy's a great cook and wanted to do everything herself for Christmas Eve." He smirked. "Of course she has tasted my cookin' so we know why she wanted somethin' a little better for guests." The others chuckled, as Mandy raised up on tiptoe and whispered something to Ray.   
        "Ask her." He encouraged as he shifted Nathan to his other arm, so he could hold him further away from grabbing the utensils his sister was using. Amanda dipped her head shyly and shook her head, pretending to concentrate on the potato in her hand. "Not even gonna try, hmmm? Not even for Christmas?" She shook her head again and he sighed and squeezed her shoulder tenderly. "Dat's okay."   
        "What is it, Ray?" Fraser inquired.   
        "She wants to know if Frannie would like to help her with supper." Ray replied, regarding the pretty Italian quietly, before smiling down at Amanda again. "She has her own family ta go home to, but maybe she'll visit us again and you two can cook together then, okay?"   
        "I'd like that very much, Amanda." Francesca offered and Amanda's dark eyes captured hers for a moment, then she nodded and turned back to her chore, as Ray shot Francesca a grateful look.   
        He took them for a quick tour around the house. The living room, kitchen with a breakfast patio, small dining area, a den and a partial bathroom were on the ground level. A full basement and workshop was below and Ray commented on turning it into a play room or recreation area with a pool table later on. Three bedrooms and two bathrooms were on the upper level. There were heavy child gates on both stair case entries' to keep the toddler from crawling up or down the steps.   
        "Dis will be Nathan's room." Ray informed as they stepped into the first room they came to off the stairwell. It had hideous wallpaper and was stacked with boxes that they had not yet found the time to open, but two large windows and a wall unit for shelves, so it had plenty of potential. "I'll repaint it and I got his bed and stuff on order."   
    "Where does he sleep now?" Tara asked as they moved past the bathroom.   
        "In my room." Ray replied calmly as he opened the door to the next room, about a half a size larger. "Sometimes in Mandy's just depends."   
         This one also had boxes stacked in the corners, but held a large double bed with a soft lavender bedspread and canopy, trimmed with white lace. A deep walnut dresser and matching looking glass was set up against the wall closest to the wide window, which also had a matching shelf seat built under the sill.  A small wicker chair sat in one corner. There were no decorations on the walls as yet, but a large stuffed tiger sat in the middle of the bed. Fraser noticed the familiar dream catcher that hung over the bed and glanced at his friend.   
        "I take it this is Amanda's room?" Fraser commented with a smile, touched that his partner was allowing the girl the use of his special gift. Ray shrugged, slightly embarrassed.   
        "Yah, I know it seems a little much for a teenager, but she never had a real child hood and when she saw dat bed her eyes lit up like stars." He explained as they moved further down the hall and Nathan started to squirm in his arms to get down. Since there were child gates at the top of the stairs as well, Ray allowed it and watched the little boy run down to the room at the end of the hall.   
        "I imagine that will be your room, then." Fraser grinned as they followed the excited toddler.   
        "It's also where his toys are." Ray grinned as they entered the master bedroom, catching hold of Nathan as he tried to climb into his crib by himself, which sat close to Ray's own bed.   
        The furniture matched the detective's former bedroom in the old apartment, but this room was twice the size of his last bedroom and so there was a slightly different placement. Fraser was pleased to see it just the same. A large, secluded bathroom led just off of the bedroom, with all the amenities, a large garden tub and shower stall, with double sinks along an ivory marble counter top.   
        "Wanna go sleepy bye?" Ray encouraged Nathan, as he set the boy inside the bed and he started to lie down. He held his arms up to Ray. "Didn't think so Wanna come up?"   
        Nathan pondered this for a minute, then stood up, bracing, himself against the wooden bars. He started jumping up and down and giggling.   
         "Aw...yer just lookin' fer attention." Ray teased lovingly, unaware of the affectionate smiles he received from Tara and Fraser as they watched him, and the look of longing Francesca attempted to hide.   
        "The house is lovely, Ray." Fraser assured as his friend plucked the energetic boy from the crib and they headed back downstairs. "I would be happy to assist you in any renovations you care to undertake."   
        "I was hopin' you'd say dat, Fraser." Ray grinned at him as they moved back to the living room and Francesca glanced at her watch.   
        "I...I really should go." She decided. "Ma will be worried." She gave Tara a quick hug as Fraser fetched her things.   
        "Sure ya don't wanna stay and decorate the tree wit us?" She shook her head and he nodded resigned. "Thanks fer lettin' me show ya my house, Frannie." Nathan started to squirm in his arms again, then held his hands out to the Italian woman.   
        Francesca exchanged a startled glance with Ray, but his eyes held something deeper as she raised her arms to accept the boy. He wrapped his arms around her neck and presented her with a wet kiss. She hugged him as hard as she dared before handing him back to Ray, who set him on the floor next to a pile of his toys.   
        "Do not show him how to lick electrical sockets." Ray warned Fraser jokingly, though all the outlets had been child proofed.   
        "That's just silly, Ray." The Mountie argued, pressing his lips together firmly to cease the rising twitch from forming. "The tree bark will hold more fiber for a child." Ray did a double take at him then shook his head grinning.   
        "I'll walk ya out." Ray offered to Francesca as Tara and Fraser agreed to watch that Nathan didn't get into mischief. He didn't bother putting on a coat, but he held her hand again as they headed down the drive to her car. Before he could help himself, he lowered his lips to caress her cheek in a hesitant kiss. "Merry Christmas Frannie."   
        "Ray?" she began softly, she couldn't help wanting to be with him, even now. Stella was right, once he got into your heart you could not exercise the power that was Stanley Raymond Kowalski. Besides, now that she had seen who he had been running home to the other day, how could she deny wanting to be apart of his new family? "W...will you come to dinner tomorrow? Ma expects it, now that yer back and Ben and Tara will be there and..."   
        "Do you want me to?" he interrupted her babbling and she lowered her eyes again.   
        "I...if you want to come." She deflected and he sighed.   
        "Maybe not den, I do have Mandy and Nat...." he reasoned but Francesca jumped in.   
        "Ma would love ta meet them." She assured quickly. "You know it's always the more the merrier for her and den you or Mandy wouldn't have ta cook a big meal and..."   
        "If I come by fer dinner, " Ray traded. "I would have ta leave da kids here, Frannie. Dey're not used to a lot of people, dey're real mistrustin' and shy right now. Yer family is great, but dey're also a lot of dem and dey're really loud and noisy sometimes." Francesca nodded in understanding; of course that would be too much too soon for the children. He traced a path across her cheek and extended the same invitation he had offered her when he drove her home. "You could come by here, if you wanted to. Fer supper maybe, after ya had yer big family gathering." He paused and dropped his hand. "I know how important family is ta ya."   
        "Do...do you want me to?" she whispered, rising doubtful shimmering eyes to his.   
        "I want ya to do whatever yer comfortable wit, Frannie." He amended gently. "Of course I want you to, I want to be with you, but ya gotta do what you feel is best."   
        "I...I'll think about it." She finally agreed as he opened her door for her.   
        "Frannie?" he suddenly asked and crouched down to be level with her as she slid behind the wheel. She stared into his eyes waiting for him to finish and he hesitated, but whatever he had been about she would not hear that day, for he just shook his head and offered her a smile. "Merry Christmas, Sweetness."   
        "Merry Christmas, Ray." She returned disappointed, then waited for him to move back and close the door before pulling away.   
  

        Ray was just putting away the newspaper from a few of the moving boxes he had unpacked, when he heard the doorbell chime. He quickly stepped out of the garage and through the connecting door to hurry down the hallway. Francesca Vecchio stood on the doorstep; her arms loaded with parcels and packages. He threw the door open and let her in, quickly removing the majority of her load from her arms.   
        "What's all this?" he asked surprised, trying to sound normal and relaxed though his heart was racing and his palms were suddenly sweating. She had come, he honestly hadn't let himself hope that she would, but here she was, standing in his home at just a little after three on Christmas Day.   
        "I told Ma I was coming by," Francesca explained breathlessly as he set the other packages aside and helped her off with her coat. "So she sent you some leftovers from dinner." Ray looked over the bags and packages.   
    "Dis is all food?" he exclaimed in amazement and she nodded as she slid off her boots and retrieved some of the load to bring into the kitchen.   
        "You know Ma." She sighed as they set them on the counter and started sorting through them. "I tried to tell her that you probably already had leftovers from yer own Christmas dinner, but she said a man doesn't know how to prepare a proper traditional meal, so she wanted to make sure you had a little bit of everything." Ray smiled at her nervous babble.   
        "I'm glad you came, Frannie." He offered as he tried to find room in the fridge for most of it, trying not to notice the blush creeping into her cheeks. "Tell Ma I said thanks. We actually didn't get to eat anything, we...had a little crisis here and food was kinda forgotten."   
        "What happened?" she asked immediately concerned.   
        She hadn't slept a wink last night, trying to decide if she should come by and visit Ray and his new family, but by morning she decided she simply had to, to see if there was a future for them or if all was lost. That didn't make her any less nervous about it, but Ma's food seemed to break the ice easily for them. Ray however, did look tired and worn out, she cursed herself for not noticing the tension when she first arrived.   
        "Well, Mandy had some really bad dreams last night and I ended up staying up most of da night and dis morning with her, tryin' to get her ta talk to me." He explained quietly as he continued to load the containers she offered him into the fridge. "We came out to the living room at some point and she saw da gifts under the tree. She has a...problem with acceptin' anything from anyone and though I explained dat it was Christmas so she had to have somethin' under da tree, she just got all upset and started cryin' again." He closed the fridge and leaned back against the counter. "She ran into her room and won't come out. I...I've tried everything, Frannie, but she won't let me in or talk to me." He gripped the counter tightly, until his knuckles were white. "I didn't want it ta be like dat fer her, not at Christmas."   
        "Do you think she might talk to me, Ray?" Francesca offered, sensing his distress. "Sometimes there are things you can say to another woman that come harder with a man."   
        "If...if you think it would do any good, Frannie." He stammered. "I...I'm lost, I can't get through ta her and I've always been able to before."   
        "I'll see what I can do." She promised. "Where's Nat?"   
        "He's asleep. He woke up fer awhile and played, but I didn't show him the tree because I wanted everyone to open their gifts together, y'know?" Francesca nodded.   
        "Why don't you start heating some of that stuff up and I'll go talk to Mandy." Ray nodded and offered her a grateful smile.   
  

        Francesca climbed the steps and knocked on the girl's bedroom door. When she received no answer, she tried the knob, and was glad to find it was open. Ray wouldn't have barged in without Mandy inviting him, but Francesca wasn't the gentleman Ray was, sometimes you had to get tough with kids. Mandy was still in her nightclothes, a long T-shirt and a purple flannel robe, must be her favorite color, Francesca though absently.   
        "Amanda?" she greeted, closing the door and moving over to sit besides the girl, who was stretched out on the bed with her face hidden in her pillow. "Honey, what's wrong? Ray is awfully upset that ya won't talk to him, he's afraid you don't like him anymore." Ray of course had never said that but improvising with a little guilt was a tool of the trade when dealing with teenagers. Amanda shook her head and buried deeper into the pillow. "Well, I guess ya just don't care about his feelings then, after he worked so hard to make this a special Christmas for you and Nathan."   
        "I do!" Amanda cried suddenly, and though the pillow muffled her voice it had startled Francesca. Well, step one accomplished, she was talking.   
        "You do what?" Francesca inquired innocently and Amanda sat up and wiped at her face, though she didn't meet the other woman's gaze.   
        "C...care." she murmured sniffling and Francesca handed her the box of tissues that was on her nightstand.   
        "Then why won't you talk to him?" she demanded softly. "Why don't you go and open your Christmas presents with him and Nat?" She shook her head and blew her nose with a tissue dejectedly. "It's all right to have someone give ya something, Amanda, it just means they care about ya and want to make you happy."   
        "Nothing!" she sobbed brokenly.   
        "What?" Francesca questioned confused.   
        "I...I have n...nothing f...for h...him." She finally managed desperately. "He...he won't think I....I care...a...about h...him." Francesca hid a smile and shook her head, swallowing the urge to pull the girl into her arms. So that's why she was upset.   
        "Honey, Ray isn't like that." She assured. "He doesn't expect ya to have a present under the tree for him, he'd much rather have a warm hug and a kiss or just have you show him how ya feel, then any old store bought gift." A light of hope registered in the girl's eyes.   
        "Really?" she gulped, trying to contain her sobbing, for the moment at least. "I...it's just...h...he's been so great to me and Nat and...I know he...he's trying to...to make it so we can stay with him." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "B...but he looks so s...sad sometimes and...and lonely." She raised her gaze to hold Francesca's determinedly.        "He...he told me about you."   
        "H...he did?" Francesca returned shocked.   
        "He...he said there was a very beautiful and caring woman b...back in Chicago that had stolen his h...heart and that  he hoped one day we w...would all be a family." Amanda explained and Francesca felt the painful tugs at her heart. "H...he said he h...hurt you and that...that he didn't know if...if you would forgive him. B...But I heard the social worker talking and they won't let us stay with him unless he...he has a wife. I...I said he s...should ask you, because he loves you, but he said he couldn't b...because of what happened before."   
        "I'm sure if there is a way for you to stay with Ray, he will find it." Francesca soothed as she tried to deal with the swirling emotions inside her. So he did still want her, still loved her, but he was afraid because he had hurt her, to ask her directly to share his life again. She plastered a smile on her face. "Why don't we fix your face, so he doesn't know you've been crying and then we'll go downstairs, have some supper and open some Christmas gifts?" Amanda nodded shyly, then reached up to touch Francesca's hair.   
        "C...can you fix my hair like yours?" she requested and Francesca grinned.   
        "I'll give it my best shot." 

        They entered the kitchen together, where Ray was just laying on the counter the small buffet style meal of Turkey with all the fixings that he had heated up. He turned and smiled as he noticed them, taking in Amanda's styled hair and pretty green dress.   
        "Well, aren't you a pretty picture?" he exclaimed proudly and was pleasantly surprised when she ran into his arms and hugged him as hard as she could. Ray glanced over her head to Francesca, who simply smiled encouragingly, and then he wrapped his arms around the young woman fondly.   
        "I'm sorry for messing up Christmas." She blurted as she clung to him. "I didn't have anything to give you for the stuff you bought for me and I didn't think you would know I cared because I didn't have anything but Miss. Vecchio said that I could give you this as my gift." She paused in her hurried speech to reach up and kiss Ray firmly on the cheek. "I love you, Ray and I want to stay with you forever. Merry Christmas." Suddenly shy she burst from his arms and ran for the sanctuary of the living room as Ray stood feeling slightly dazed.   
        "Ray?" Francesca asked bemused as he continued to stand bewildered in the middle of the kitchen.   
        "W...what...Did I miss something?" he questioned confused and Francesca laughed.   
        "Yes, dinner, so round up the kids and let's get to eating before it gets cold." 

        Everyone thoroughly enjoyed their feast, courtesy of Ma Vecchio, and were soon seated by the newly decorated Christmas tree and unwrapping gifts. Francesca had also brought a few gifts for the kids and even for Ray from members of her family, to his surprise and chagrin.   
        Amanda thanked Ray for every gift as she opened it; her eyes growing more and more excited with each package. He had purchased and assortment of clothing, which she really needed, some stuffed animals to add to the collection he had already started for her, which he felt every young girl should have, a few books and knickknacks and a couple of pieces of tasteful costume jewelry. The one she exclaimed the most over however was a special edition Barbie that was dressed as Dorothy, from The Wizard of Ox, Amanda's favorite book. She ran to Ray and threw her arms around him, unable to stop the flow of tears from falling.   
        Ray had been worried that the young girl, who never had much of a child hood to begin with, would think a Barbie was too childish a gift, but seeing her reaction now he knew he had made the right choice.   
        "Oh Ray!" she cried against him happily. "I love her! She's the most wonderful doll in the whole world! Thank you thank you thank you." Ray blushed shyly at her praise, but was pleased she liked it so much.   
        "Merry Christmas, sweetheart." He whispered in the same soft tone Francesca had often heard him use with her, and she smiled regretfully. He truly loved these kids, of that she had no doubt, but was Amanda right in assuming he would never be awarded custody without a wife? She shook her head and contented herself with enjoying the sight of Ray interacting with the kids.   
        Amanda had lost some of her usual sobriety and shyness and was trying to get Ray to sing Christmas carols with her, though she didn't know many and Ray took advantage of that to start singing the silliest off-season songs. You Are My Sunshine, SOS, and Puff the Magic Dragon and Amanda continued to giggle at him in frustrated glee.   
        "Silent night?" Francesca suggested, getting into it.   
        "Not possible wit two women in da house." Ray teased and Francesca smacked him with the sofa pillow exasperated.   
        "You do not really want ta hear me sing." He assured as he walked over and found a station that was playing the Christmas carols. "There, have at it." The two glared at him with a secret delight then started singing to spite him.   
        Francesca knew Ray had a very nice voice, she often heard him singing in the shower or around his apartment when he didn't think she could hear him, but she knew he was incredibly shy about singing in public so she let it slide. Amanda didn't know many of the words to the carols, but she caught on quickly enough with Francesca's encouragement.   
Ray had gotten down on the floor to help Nat play with some of his new toys, and the boy was gleefully switching from one item to the next while trying to watch his sister and Francesca sing and laugh through the music.   
        "So many toys so little time." Ray chuckled at the boy's indecision then watched two chubby hands rub reluctantly at his eyes. "Some one's ready fer da Sandman I think." Francesca laughed as Nat gave him a look that said, it sure as hell ain't me, mister. Then at the mentioning of bedtime, she glanced at her watch and was shocked to see it was going for eight p.m.   
        "Goodness!" she exclaimed abruptly as she rose to her feet from the sofa. "I didn't realize it was so late. I need to get home."   
        She'd been having such a good time she'd lost track of the hour. Ray regarded her quietly for a moment and she saw a wave of disappointment flash across his handsome features. Finally he hefted the sleepy boy into his arms and handed him over to Amanda, who was beside him instantly, as though knowing when she was needed.   
        "Take him on up, Mandy." He requested gently. "I'll be up in a minute to tuck him in." She nodded, then hesitated as she passed by Francesca. She stepped back and gave the pretty brunette a quick kiss on the cheek.   
        "Thank you for coming." She murmured shyly then hurried out. Francesca looked after her fondly, then returned her gaze to Ray, who had wandered over to the picture window to glance outside.   
        "It's snowin' pretty hard, Frannie." He remarked quietly. "Yer car's practically buried in da drive way." Francesca moved over beside him and gasped at the tall drifts of winter white landscape that seemed to cover everything in sight.   
         She could barely see her small car, and only half of Ray's Expedition. Not a thing was moving on the road, it looked as though even the plows had not been through and probably wouldn't until morning or it stopped snowing, whichever came first. She glanced up at Ray under hooded lashes as he shook his head at the weather before them.   
        "Haven't seen a snow fall like dis since I was in Canada wit Fraser." He muttered in amazement. He glanced down at her and caught her staring, making her blush. "You should probably stay over."   
        "I...I can walk, Ray." She assured nervously, though whether or not she'd even find the street her house was on in all that white was a question.   
        "Ya'd never make it." He cautioned and she knew it was the cop in him talking now. "It's at least four blocks to yer house and if ya wander off da road in da dark, ya won't be able ta find yer footsteps back through because the snow's fallin' to hard."   
        Before Francesca could protest further the lights flickered and the house was plunged into darkness, save for the firelight from the fireplace in the living room. Ray heard Mandy's scream and called back for her to stay put so he could find her in the dark, before she got hurt.   
        "You be okay fer a minute, Frannie?" he asked concerned, as he grabbed a candle from the mantel and lit it with the flames from the fire. She nodded, there was still plenty of light to see in here and the dark didn't bother her, not like it bothered Ray.   
        "Want me to go?" she offered gently and she saw a ghost of a smile on his lips before he turned away.   
        "Thanks, but I'll just be a minute." She nodded and glanced back outside again.   
        All the lights on the street were out, but a full moon cast an ivory glow on the winter wonderland. She retrieved the other candle from the mantle and bent to light it from the fire. She carried it into the dining area, where she remembered two more candles had been set up on the table by Mandy for their Christmas dinner. She brought them back to the living room and lit them as well, placing them strategically about the room so there was a pleasant yellow and orange glow all the way around the room, with hardly any room for shadows.   
        Ray returned a few moments later with Mandy and Nat, looking relieved at the added illumination and smiled his thanks to her. They all settled quietly and glanced out at the falling snow, since Francesca had pulled the heavy drapes back to afford them the advantage of the moonlight as well. Ray sat on the sofa with Mandy curled up at his side and Nat half-asleep in his arms while Francesca watched them from her chair closest to the fireplace. She wanted to be a part of the tender family scene she was witnessing, but she was afraid to include herself, to ask if she could join, so she just turned her eyes back to the snow outside.   
        "It's so quiet." Mandy whispered as she snuggled closer to Ray. "Like we're the only people in the world." Ray smiled fondly, the firelight causing devilish shadows to dance across his angular features and make him appear dark and mysterious.   
        "It was like dis in Canada." He commented softly. " Da Territories were always so quiet and still, with nothin' ta see but snow and blue sky."   
        "Tell me about them, Ray?" she requested and Francesca found she too was interested.   
        Ray had never spoken much about his time in Fraser's home land, she had assumed he had hatted it because he was so sick when he had been forced to return. Ray's expression turned wistful, then amused, and then finally remorseful.   
        "I didn't like it at first." He admitted. "It was so cold all the time, and so isolated I felt I was gonna go nuts! We were pretty much at Mother Nature's mercy, 'cause anything we wanted we had ta work real hard fer. It took weeks sometimes to come upon a small village, usually Inuit, but da people were always real accomodatin'. Most of 'em lived in small huts, wit a whole in da ground fer da fire and just a few mats on da floor ta sleep. No electricity, no indoor plumbing, no packaged food. If ya wanted ta eat, ya had to catch it and kill it, clean it and cook it yerself." A secret smile tugged at his lips. "First few weeks I woulda given anythin' for a nice big pizza wit pineapple and Canadian bacon and a six pack a beer."   
        "What did you eat?" Mandy inquired intrigued.   
        "Oh, whatever we could find." He returned easily. "Sometimes we had rabbit, sometimes fish dat Fraser would catch through a hole in da ice if we were near water. If we were really lucky we'd run into a young buck or bull moose and da venison meat would last us a good while. Fraser was a good hunter and he knew all da tricks ta preserve da meat so we could ration it. Other times we existed on hard bread and jerky."   
        "Sounds disgusting." Mandy decided and he chuckled.   
        "I thought so too, at first, but when all ya been eatin' fer a month of Sundays is tasteless hard bread, canned beans and bark stew, a good Moose Burger can be like a top sirloin, it just takes getting' used to."   
        "Why didn't you stay?" she pressed. "Because it was so cold and stuff?"   
        "Nah," Ray returned. "I got used ta da cold mostly and da walkin' and da types of meals we ate, it was da isolation dat got to me, Mandy. Even wit Fraser dere, I felt like I was stuck in some kinda soundless, endless, colorless void that I couldn't get out of. I couldn't make myself leave, because Fraser was my best friend and I really didn't have much here ta come back to. But den I caught phenomena and Frase felt so guilty for 'subjecting me to the elements' as he put it, dat he talked me in ta leavin'."   
        "Do you miss it?" she asked, her voice turning sleepy as she lay her head down on his lap and curled her feet up onto the sofa. Ray smiled and caressed her hair with his free hand, Nathan was sound asleep against his other arm, which was also going to sleep.   
        "Sometimes." He admitted quietly. "I used ta like sleepin' under an open sky, full of stars and smelling like fresh winter mints."   
        "Can we go there sometime, Ray?" she yawned as he eyes drifted closed.   
        "We'll see." He promised and continued to lull her to sleep with the rhythmic smoothing of his hand. After a few moments, she started to snore quietly and Ray glanced over at Francesca, who was watching them sleep.   
        "They really love you, Ray." She whispered, so as not to disturb the slumbering children.   
        "I love them." He replied just as quietly. "Sometimes.... sometimes it scares me how much, Frannie. I...I don't know what I'll do if they're taken away from me." Francesca stood and moved to kneel before him.   
        "You won't loose them." She promised softly, meeting his eyes with an intensity that neither of them could explain or deny. "Let's get them to bed." He nodded and allowed her to take Nathan as he carefully maneuvered Amanda further across his lap so he could pull her into his arms as he stood.   
        Francesca grabbed a candle, after blowing out the others, since she had a free hand, and guided their way upstairs. Ray was surprised to find that sometime during the evening, Amanda had moved her brother's crib into her room, but he accepted it, since she often had times when she had to be around the child she had reared almost by herself and have him near.   
        Francesca didn't want to chance waking the toddler by changing him into his pajamas so she just pulled off the boy's denim overalls and placed him in the crib with his T-shirt and diaper still on. She pulled the blanket up over him and made sure the baby monitor attached to the crib was on, then turned to help Ray with Amanda.   
        He had already pulled the covers back and had pulled the zipper down on her dress. He asked Francesca to fetch a nightgown from the bureau and as Ray pulled the dress down, Francesca slipped the gown over Amanda's head discretely. With gentle arms, Ray lifted her again and lay her upon the sheets then pulled the covers up over her securely. He bent and kissed her forehead lovingly as Francesca hung Amanda's dress over the back of a wicker chair.   
        "Still asleep?" she asked him as she watched him creep over to stare down at Nathan.   
        "Down fer da count." He whispered back as he allowed himself a soft caress across the child's brow, before finally moving out of the room. "I really think ya should stay over, Frannie." He reminded once they had closed the door and were away from the children's room. "Ya can sleep in my room and I'll take da sofa downstairs, it opens to a bed anyway."   
        "Okay." She agreed without further protest, as she led him back down stairs. "Let me call Ma." Ray found the cordless phone for her and punched in the number before handing it over.   
        He moved to peer out the window again as he half listened to Francesca explain where she was and that she wouldn't be coming home tonight because of the snow. She paused for a moment then offered the phone to Ray.   
        "Ma want's ta talk to you." She watched confusion and a trace of trepidation slide across his expressive features, even as he accepted the device.   
        "Hi Ma." He greeted giving Francesca a worried look. "Merry Christmas." Francesca could hear her mother's tearful voice on the other end, even from where she stood. "No, Ma. "I'm sorry I didn't come by I...of course I do. You know better den that.  Thanks fer the food it...They're fine, they're asleep now. No, our power is out over here. Ma! Ma, I...slow down Ma I don't speak Italian, remember?"   
        Francesca hid a smile behind her hand moved closer, putting her ear next to Ray's to hear her mother's words. Ray tried not to notice the trembling in his hands as he tried to hold the receiver to approximate them both. Having her so near was doing strange things to him.   
        "Ma!" Francesca finally interceded. "English Ma." A brief pause and them Mrs. Vecchio continued in stammered English. "No, Ma I promise not to drive him up the wall." Ray smirked and she glared at him. "I never said anything about not drivin' ya through one." She hissed for his ears only and he had to choke back a laugh. They continued to assure Ma that everything was okay and finally she commented that she could count on Ray to take care of her little girl, but then Ray Vecchio got on the extension.   
        "Kowalski." He growled. "My sister is not spendin' da night wit you. I'll come by and get her."   
        "The roads are a mess, Vecchio." Ray cautioned, though Francesca heard the carried threat in his tone. "I ain't gonna do anything ta Frannie and you need ta stop tryin' ta run her life."   
        "Listen you son of a..." Vecchio cursed but Francesca interceded, she was not going to let her brother cause another problem with her and Ray.   
        "I'm stayin' here, Ray." She decided firmly. "It's dangerous outside and besides, there's two kids in the house, what the hell you think we're gonna do anyway?" her brother was silent. "Trust me ta know what I'm doin', okay?"   
        "Fine, Frannie." Ray spat. "But if he hurts ya again it'll be only yerself ta blame."   
        "Merry Christmas to you to, Vecchio." Ray hissed sarcastically then gave the receiver to Francesca and moved to stoke the fire, his whole posture had tensed in anger. Francesca said goodbye to her mother and ended the call.   
        She approached him slowly as he pulled the protective netting across and hooked the poker back on it's stand then straightened and shoved his hands in his pockets, continuing to stare down at the fire. They watched the flames spark and dance with a rejuvenated spirit, each wishing they had the courage to say what was on their minds.   
        Finally Ray turned, grabbed a candle and headed back toward the stairs. Francesca quickly followed him as he strode into his room and went to his dresser to pull out a long, blue satin nightgown and offered it to her. She stared at him in surprise, wondering where it had come from.   
        "It was mixed in wit my laundry." He explained as she finally reached tentatively for the shirt. "When I moved I just took it wit me in case...in case I got a chance ta return it." She nodded shyly and accepted it as Ray set the candle on the top of the chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt for himself. "I'll be outta yer hair in a minute, soon as I grab a pillow and some sheets."   
        "Ray." She began stepping in front of him as he moved to walk past.   
        He looked down at her and waited, she could see the nervous flickering in his gaze and she thought about how much his eyes reminded her of a stormy sea. Neither blue, nor green, nor gray, but a combination of all three, with a secret mystery hidden beneath their smoldering depths. She could get lost in those depths, as easily as a rising tide could pull her tiny body beneath the surf of its waves and rob her of her breath and life force.   
        "What Frannie?" Ray finally had to ask, he needed to put some distance between them, and he didn't want to mess up or push her for a decision by showing he still could react strongly to her presence.   
        "W...why don't you sleep in here?" she suggested timidly. "It...it is yer bed." She tried to think of how many times she had lain on that same bed, not always to make love, sometimes just to hold the man who was everything to her. He was everything, he was all that she could hope for and wether things worked out for them or not, she wanted the memory of being close to him again to sustain her.   
        "I ain't lettin' ya take the couch, Frannie." He refused frowning. "It ain't..." What was that word Fraser used? Oh yeah. "Chivalrous."   
        "Okay." She agreed. "H...How about we b...both sleep here then?" She held her breath as his body coiled tighter than a spring suddenly being pulled taut.   
        "I think you had to much wine at dinner." He decided slowly as he took in her flushed face, evident even in the gloom of the candlelight.   
        She bit her lip and lowered her eyes. He was rejecting her...again! No, back up, Frannie, think a minute. What had Amanda said? The young girls' words sounded in her head.  **_He said there was a very beautiful and caring woman back in Chicago that had stolen his heart and that he hoped one day we would all be a family....  He needs a wife.... I told him to ask you... he couldn't because of what happened before....He said he loves you._**   
        "I only had a glass and a half, Ray." She defended firmly. "I am not even tipsy, let alone drunk." Ray regarded her carefully for a few long moments.   
         He was drunk, then, because he couldn't have heard her suggest they both sleep in his bed tonight. It wasn't an intoxication from the glass of wine he had, it was an addiction to Frannie that was sending his senses out of whack and making every nerve in his body tingle and throb almost painfully. He shook his head, sluggishly and caught himself before he stumbled backwards.   
        "S...stay? Both of us? I...in one bed?" he repeated as though he hadn't heard her correctly the first time, but Francesca was nodding slowly and he had to shake his head again and step back from her. "Dat's...dat's not a good idea, Franne. I...I mean I'm tryin' ta be good about....y'know...us bein...not an us...um...right now and me...ah...wantin' ya and...dat...dat would make me...make it...da situation really hard.... tight...difficult to deal wit." He gave her a look of exasperation and she smiled.   
        "What did you get me for Christmas, Ray?" she inquired huskily and Ray recognized the vixen rising within her.   
        "I...it's...I got ya something!" he defended indignantly, if he could just remember which box it was in, for he had bought it months ago.  "It...I just didn't get a chance ta...ta wrap it."   
        "Where is it then?" she countered and saw the trapped look in his eyes.   
        "It...I...I do have somethin' fer ya Frannie." He said again, encouraging her to believe him. "But I packed it and I...I can't re...remember which box it's in. But I'll spend all day tomorrow lookin' fer it and..."   
        "That doesn't do me any good now, Ray." She mused. "It's Christmas day and I don't have a present to open. You said my present to you would be if I stopped by, well, I'm here and now I want a gift too." Ray glanced around the dimly lit room, searching his mind for what he could use to get out of this, but he was drawing a blank.   
        "I...what do ya want, Frannie?" he asked finally and regretted the words the minute they left his mouth as she stepped closer and ran a hand down the front of his short.   
        "I want to share your bed for this night." She whispered, as her other hand reached up to coil through his thick blond mane and pulled his lips down to hers.   
        She closed her eyes and shivered, for she had wanted to do this all day. Ray moaned against her, his clothes falling to the floor as he wrapped his arms around her. God she tasted so sweet, always like the sweetest candy Ray could imagine.   
        "Frannie." He almost whimpered against her lips. "I...I told Vecchio I wouldn't..."   
        "He's not here." She murmured as she slid her tongue against the moist inner flesh of his lips and felt his shaky breath tickle her face. "I want this Ray, with you, just this night."   
        "W...what about..." he began to protest but she silenced him with another kiss that took his breath away and left him weak in the knees.   
        "Worry about tomorrow when it comes." She soothed as she moved over to close the bedroom door then move back to grasp his hand and guide him to the bed. He followed her, feeling drugged and confused.   
        "Tomorrow never comes, Sweetness." He whispered, wondering where he had heard that before, as she pushed him onto his back and crawled over him, nibbling at his face, ears and throat. "It just becomes today."   
        "Hmmm." She agreed as she captured his mouth under hers once again.   
  

        Francesca heard the soft whimper coming over the small baby intercom, and at first started to drift back to sleep, but then a louder cry sounded and she felt Ray bolt up in the bed. It wasn't the baby, the cry was too pitiful, which meant it had to be Amanda. She watched Ray shrug into his jeans and hurry out of the room, before she pulled on his robe and quickly followed. The power must have returned at some point, because Ray had automatically slapped on the hall light and it brightened their way.   
        They came to Amanda's room and Francesca saw the girl thrashing mournfully about on her bed as Ray rushed to her side. At first when he touched her she started to scream and fought him, but he gripped her wrists tightly and spoke in a gentle, but no nonsense tone   
        "Wake up Mandy. It's Ray sweetheart, yer okay yer home wit me. Wake up baby, com'ahn." Finally the girl's eyes opened and tried to focus on the man sitting on the bed beside her. She threw her arms around him and allowed him to rock her gently until her shaking stopped and her tears receded.   
        "B...B....B....Bad...." she stammered and Ray cradled her and shook his head.   
        "No, darlin', no bad things here." He assured. "Only good things. Talk it through, Mandy. Tell me da good things." The girl sniffed dejectedly as she remained pressed against him.   
        "T...t....t...the T...tin M...M....Man." She murmured.   
        "Yep," Ray agreed gently. "The Tin man from da Wizard of Oz., another one."   
        "C....C...chocolate ice cream."   
        "Keep goin'."   
        "Y...Y..your turn." She offered.   
        "Okay, pizza wit pineapples." Francesca fought a ghost of a smile as their game continued.   
        "N...Nat when he...'s t...t....trying to talk."   
        "Christmas presents." Ray encouraged as Francesca finally realized what he was doing, trying to make her bad dream go away by having her tell him all her favorite things.   
        "M....M....my doll." She continued quietly and Francesca smiled, even though neither of them even knew she was there.   
        "My buddy Fraser."   
        "Snow."   
        "Hockey." Ray replied and Amanda paused for a moment as she tried to come up with another one, her dream almost forgotten.   
        "Umm....the color purple."   
        "Brave young women named Amanda with gold in their hair and sweetness in their smile." Ray whispered and she raised moist eyes to his, seeing the truth behind them.   
        "Cops named Ray with blond hair, blue-green eyes and a heart as big Chicago." She returned shyly and Ray laughed and hugged her a little harder. "I love you Ray."   
        "I love ya too, Mandy." He managed, though his voice was thick with emotion. "Never ferget dat, no matter what else happens you remember dat, okay?" She nodded, her lower lip trembling slightly. "Feel better?" She nodded and allowed him to tuck the covers back around her. "Want me ta stay til ya fall asleep?" Again she nodded and so Ray remained perched on the bed, holding her hand, until she drifted off.   
Nathan never made a sound, perhaps he was used to sleeping through his sister's night terrors, but Francesca could see the strain on Ray's face as he finally rose slowly from his position and backed out of the room.   
        "She have nightmares often?" Francesca couldn't help asking as they returned to the master bedroom.   
        "Yah, few times a week at least." He commented. "She used ta have em every night, but she's gettin' better."   
        "Is it because of where she lived before?" Francesca inquired and Ray sat down on the bed and related the whole story behind Amanda's behavior and nightmares. Francesca shook her head sadly then, in an effort to take Ray's mind off it as well, she turned her attentions to seducing him, which didn't really take much prodding on her part.   
  

        She awoke early the following morning, sun streamed in through tiny slips in the curtains and danced across the green and gray bedspread that covered them. She sighed, feeling happy and sated, then curled back against the warmth of the body that was spooned against hers. Ray's arm was tossed across her and she pulled it closer to her naked bosom and linked her fingers with his. His breathing was slow and steady so she knew he was still asleep.   
        They had made love twice, the first time had turned wild and passionate, as they had ached for each other for so long, but the second time was the lovemaking Francesca had come to treasure, as Ray worshiped her body with his hands, mouth and a few other things. It was always so gentle, so thorough and she had forgotten how much she had missed the fullness she experienced when he claimed her, the sense of complete belonging she had when they were joined together in love, need and passion.   
        A timid knock on the bedroom door caused Ray to stir, but did not rouse him from his sound sleep. Francesca carefully slipped from his arms; pulled the nightgown she had never even changed into the night before and padded across to the door. She opened it as gently as she could and was relieved that it didn't creak.   
        "H...Hi." Amanda stammered shyly as a blush crept up her cheeks. "Are...did you and...I mean...are you and Ray...Would you like some breakfast?" she finally blurted and Francesca smiled kindly.   
        "Sure, we'll be down in a few." She assured. "Is Nathan up?" Amanda nodded and tossed her fidgeting hands behind her.   
        "I already changed him and gave him his breakfast." She stated without a hint of pride or accusation. "Ray usually gets up before us and he takes care of him, but I sometimes get up and Ray sleeps in." Francesca nodded and smiled again.   
        "You sure are a wonderful girl, Amanda." She offered and the girl lowered her head again, unaccustomed to receiving compliments.   
        "You can call me Mandy, if you want." She suggested then hurried off. Francesca closed the door and moved back toward the bed, only slightly surprised to see Ray was still unconscious, he could sleep through a tornado sometimes.   
        "Ray?" she shook him gently. "Honey, Mandy has breakfast ready fer us and I have to get home." Perhaps it was her tone or the words registered that she was leaving and he bolted awake, startling her. "God! I forgot you do dat, too!"   
        "Sorry." He offered groggily, still not quite awake. "What time is it?" She glanced at his clock radio.   
        "A little after seven." She informed smiling. "Wakey wakey, Sleeping Beauty, your breakfast awaits." He didn't smile at her teasing; instead he just reached up and caressed her cheek.   
        "Yer da Beauty." He stated quietly. "I'm da Beast." She frowned and started to shake her head but he was pulling her down for a kiss and she didn't resist him. A few minutes later, when they had to break for air, Francesca chuckled nervously and slid off the bed.   
        "You'll never get out of bed dis way." She teased, trying to lighten the tension between them, as she gathered her clothes from the night before.   
         Ray rolled from the bed reluctantly and moved toward the bathroom, not bothering to hide his nakedness, as he passed her. But in the light of day she caught sight of the hairline scar that started just above the left side of his abdomen and circled around to the middle of his back almost. She gasped and moved forward in concern, touching her fingers to the wound and starling him.   
        "It's okay." He assured her, trying to calm the fear he saw in her eyes. "I just got into a little scrape workin' my last assignment."   
        "What happened?" she demanded.   
        "Nothin', I'm fine, really."   
        "Ray! This looks like a surgery scar."   
        "How would you know dat?" he teased. "Ya go around inspectin' other guy's scars do ya?" She did not rise to the bait, nor would she change the subject.   
        "I want you to tell me the truth, Ray." She requested her eyes flashing with determination but her lower lip trembled slightly. "If you can't be honest with me we're back to square one again." He lowered his eyes and sighed.   
        "After breakfast, okay?" he promised, he didn't want to ruin her appetite. She started to argue, but then she nodded and moved away to change as he retreated into the bathroom.   
        He leaned against the door and crushed his fists to his eyes in frustration. He had to tell her, he knew that, but how? She'd either be totally furious over him being hurt and not calling her, or she'd be scared away by the idea that Ray's survival and health rate depended on a tiny piece of glass, that was almost invisible to the naked eye. It was however large enough to cause sever damage if it ever jarred from its current position. He sighed and shook his head. He had to tell her, he had made a vow to not keep things from her anymore and this was too important to laugh off or sweep under the rug.   
        Francesca had taken the news much better then he had expected. She had listened quietly as he related his tale and what the doctors had told him. She only spoke once and that was to inquire if he was doing any of the things the physicians had warned him about. He told her no and she nodded then rose explained that she had to go. He helped dig her car out and waited until she had driven away before stepping back inside and brushing the snow off his coat and jeans. No kiss good bye, no I'll see you later, she had driven away in silence and for the second time in two days Ray felt utterly lost.   
  

        Two days later, Ray Vecchio walked out of the kitchen, where he had been checking the menu for the day, He watched the hostess guide Ray Kowalski and another young woman to a table. Vecchio had to clamp down on his anger, for although this was his and Stella's restaurant, he couldn't just kick the former detective out because he didn't like him. It wasn't good customer service. So instead he moved to the bar and settled on one of the stools to watch the pair.   
        Francesca had told him that Kowalski was taking care of a brother and sister, but this woman with him was no teenager. Was he playing the field while still trying to get back with Francesca? Vecchio shook his head, Kowalski could be a prick some times, but he didn't think the guy would be that insincere. Still the woman was smiling and laughing at whatever Kowalski was telling her, borderline flirting, as Vecchio saw it, yet Kowalski didn't seem to be trying to encourage her.   
        He glanced up and frowned as he saw his mother and Francesca enter the restaurant, he'd forgotten they were going to stop by today, and now he had to try and get them out of there before they saw Kowalski and the red head at the table. He had only just started to stalk toward them when Kowalski's familiar chuckle made the two women turn toward the corner table surprised.   
        Oh shit, Vecchio cursed as he paused in mid step. Francesca's eyes were flashing with hurt and jealousy as she stared at the man she loved dining with another woman. Kowalski seemed to sense he was being watched and he turned to meet her poignant gaze. He said something to the other woman then rose from the table and headed for them. Mrs. Vecchio opened her arms to him and stepped up to give him a warm hug.   
        "Stanley!" she scolded. "You have not come by to see us? Why do you stay away, Caro and hurt an old woman's feelings?" Ray gave her a quick hug, though his eyes never left Francesca's accusing glare.   
        "Sorry, Ma." He offered kindly as Vecchio finally approached. "Been busy. Hi Frannie."   
        "Ma, I'll meet ya in da car." Francesca stated coolly, turning away from them and back toward the door. Kowalski reached for her arm, at the same time Vecchio grabbed his wrist.   
        "Leave her be, Stanley." Her brother warned as Francesca hurried out of the restaurant. Kowalski glared at him and shook his arm off.   
        "Do you ever mind yer own damn business?" he hissed. "Is yer life so dull ya gotta always interfere wit others?"   
        "Frannie's my sister dat makes her my business, Stanley." Vecchio retorted.   
        "Do not fight, so." Mrs. Vecchio stepped in as the red head approached them.   
        "Is their a problem, Ray?" she inquired curiously. The two men continued to glare at each other with a hatred that surprised them both, then Kowalski shook his head at his dinner companion and gently took her arm.   
        "No problem Rita." He assured. "We were just leaving."   
        "But we haven't ordered yet." She protested but Kowalski was already bustling her out.   
        "We'll go somewhere else." He assured, then as a shot to Vecchio. "Where the food and atmosphere isn't so stale." Vecchio's  eyes narrowed dangerously as he watched them leave and he took a step as if to go after them, but Ma held her son back with only the mildest touch on his arm.   
        "Enough, Raimundo." She insisted and Ray nodded in compliance.   
         Kowalski led Rita outside and over to his Expedition, glancing back at Francesca parked a few cars down. He ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth with uncertainty, then he nodded and requested his companion settle in the vehicle and he would be right back. He gave her the keys so she could turn on the heater, then turned up the collar of his coat and jogged over to the small escort. He wrapped on the window of the driver's side and Francesca turned away from him.   
        "Com'ahn, Frannie!" he implored pulling his gloves out of his pocket and shoving them on to protect his fingers from the biting cold. "Aren't ya even gonna give me a chance ta explain?"   
        "I don't care!" she retorted, rolling down the window just an inch or so to be heard. "You can carry on wit da entire female population of Chicago and it's no difference ta me." Ray almost smiled at her apparant jealousy, at least that showed he still had a chance; that she still loved him.   
        "Frannie, she's from Social Services." He insisted. "I'm talkin' ta her about Nat and Mandy."   
        "So go talk den." Francesca scoffed, still refusing to look up at him. "An' when yer done talkin' maybe she'll show ya her effings." Ray stared at her confused then finally got it, etchings, not....he shook his head.   
        "I got no interest in her but ta get da kids, Frannie." He assured. "Why can't ya trust me?"   
        "So you can run off again fer another six months and get yerself nearly killed!" Francesca demanded, with more a force then she had intended. So that was it, she's still upset that he hadn't called to tell her about his accident. He shook his head, she was worse the Fraser and he growled in frustration.   
       "Ya didn't trust me before I left either." He reminded sourly. "So dat shouldn't make a difference."   
        "Yer lady is waitin' fer ya." She reminded bitterly and jumped slightly when Ray slammed his fist onto the top of the car above her.   
        "She's not..." He shook his head. "Fine Frannie, you think whatever ya want. I really don't give a shit anymore. I got to many other things on my plate right now ta worry about yer inferiority complex." She glared at him hatefully, as his voice lowered dangerously. "Just remember dis, Sweetness, you are not my ex-wife and I am not yer ex-husband, it's time ya realized dat."  Francesca opened her mouth to deny his charge but he was already stalking back to his own vehicle.   
        She gaped after him, furious, then regretful as she realized she had let her temper get the better of her once again. She knew he wasn't anything like her ex-husband, Ray was kind and thoughtful and considerate. So why then couldn't she bring herself to believe he wanted only her? He had loved Stella with such a great passion, how could she ever hope to compete?  He was injured and didn't tell her, didn't think it was important enough, how could he do that to her? She shook her head and wiped away the beginning moistness in her eyes with an angry sweep of her hand.   
  

        The days passed slowly for Ray. Fraser and Tara had stopped by numerous times to help him finish his unpacking and to finish Nathan's room. The boy's furniture had arrived and Ray and Fraser had torn down the hideous wallpaper and painted the walls a soft blue on bottom and a delicate ivory on top. They accented it with a border of nautical themes all the way around the room. Tara had hung new curtains and powder blue drapes in the windows, Ray set up Nathan's toys on the large wall shelf while Fraser pasted bright, sparkling swirls on the ceiling so the boy would have something to look at when he was laying down.   
        Amanda became more social around them, Fraser had even gotten a small smile from her a few times, but she still only spoke when spoken to directly, and then it was only one word answers. They understood it would take her time to trust them enough to be herself, though it seemed she had taken to Francesca as she had Ray. Both children had fallen in love with Diefenbaker of course and the wolf was in his glory when he was around them.   
        Francesca had called once or twice to talk to Amanda or ask her to tag along on a shopping trip,  the girl seemed to develop a close relationship with the Italian, but Francesca never seemed to have much to say to Ray. The former detective was sure he had blown his chance with her by telling her of his condition, but he didn't know what else he could do about it, she had to make up her own mind.   
        When his parents returned Barbara had insisted she watch her son's new wards while he went out and enjoyed himself. He looked tired and wasn't eating enough, even his Father said he needed a break. So after much nagging from them both, and even a little from Amanda, Ray agreed and called Fraser, asking if he would care to go for a drink and a game of pool.  Since it was Saturday and his day off, Fraser had been delighted and readily accepted.   
        "Your shot, Ray." Fraser offered, as he moved away from the pool table to allow Kowalski to take a turn.   
        The small restaurant and bar was one he and Ray used to visit regularly; because it had a pool hall on the upper level. It wasn't overly crowded because most people were still off somewhere else enjoying the festive season. Ray seemed to be in a good mood, and though Fraser could see he was preoccupied about something, he didn't press. He just wanted to enjoy their time together. He and Ray were both excellent pool players, so it made the game more challenging.   
        "Didn't leave me much to aim at, here, Fraser." Ray griped good-naturedly, as he took a swig of his beer then walked around and studied the table.   
        "Well Ray, I believe you will find..." Fraser began helpfully and Ray held his palm up to him.   
        "Can it, Fraser." He warned. "I know how ta play." Fraser smiled and reached for his glass of soda as he watched Ray take a difficult banking shot and make it.   
        "Excellent shot, Ray." He encouraged and Ray grinned.   
        "Gee, thanks Mum." The blond retorted and moved to make another shot.   
        Suddenly his head came up as he heard a familiar laugh and he moved from the table to glance over the rail to the restaurant below. Detective Tara Chang and Francesca Vecchio was just being showed to a table, Francesca was laughing at something Tara had said. Ray's gaze wandered over to Fraser's, suspecting the Mountie had set it up somehow, but Fraser was scowling at the pool table, figuring his next shot.   
        "You tell anyone where we were goin', Frase?" he asked casually as he walked back to the table and prepared for his shot.   
        "Only Tara Ray." He offered easily. "She phoned shortly after you did." Ray nodded and decided to let the Canadian off the hook.   
         It may have been Tara's idea then to come here with Francesca, but Ray wasn't complaining. Having her so close however, not knowing how any of his attentions would be received by the Italian woman was a little unnerving, but worth it if he could just be around her; whether she knew he was here or not.   
        "Five in da side, Frase." He announced, watching as the Mountie also moved to the rail, perhaps hearing Tara's voice and needing to investigate. He didn't comment on it, knowing Ray had probably already seen them, but Tara caught sight of Fraser looking down and she raised her eyebrow at him.   
        "How about a game of pool, Frannie?" she inquired cheerfully. "We can order something to eat later."   
        "I don't play very well." Francesca refused, but Tara was already pulling her to her feet.   
        "Neither do I, so we can both play badly together." She encouraged as she guided the woman up the stairs. "It will be fun." Francesca smiled and shook her head, even as she followed her up, but then she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a familiar form bent over one of the pool tables a few feet away.   
        "Tara how could you?" she hissed and started back down the stairs but Tara caught hold of her.   
        "I didn't know he'd be here." Tara insisted, lying through her teeth to spite herself. "I just wanted to play. Com'on, you don't even have to look at him." Francesca glared at her, then cast a glance toward Fraser who smiled sympathetically and nodded to her in greeting.   
        Ray's back was still to them as he called the eight ball. Francesca's gaze, rested on Ray in his faded blue jeans and blue sweatshirt. He still wore his favorite boots and the ring Tara had noticed on him at the station, but his hair was pulled back in a small ponytail. Even dressed down he was remarkably attractive and Francesca couldn't help the desire than crept into her heart.   
        How could she not look at him? He was so...she shook her head and moved over to a corner table with Tara. It would never work with them, she realized that finally. Maybe her brother had been right, she and Kowalski didn't mix and it was time she faced up to that, no matter how much it hurt. She shook her head, her brother had frightened a certain Mountie away, with his interference, she wasn't going to let him do it again.   
        "Another game, Ray?" Fraser suggested, since his partner had won that round.   
        "Sure, Frase." He agreed, setting his cue by the wall. "Rack 'em, I'm gettin' another beer, you want a refill on yer soda?"   
        "Yes, thank you, Ray." Fraser accepted as he started to collect the balls and assembled them into the plastic triangle. Ray headed over to the upper level bar and ordered a beer and another soda, just as Tara walked up and ordered drinks for herself and Francesca.   
        "Playin' wit fire, today?" he asked her conversationally and she shrugged as they waited for the bartender to retrieve their orders.   
        "Frannie needed to get out and have some fun." She defended as their drinks arrived and she pulled out some bills from her wallet. Ray waved her hand away and offered the bartender a twenty.   
        "I got it." He assured and she accepted with a smile. "You guys goin' ta da Vecchio's tomorrow?" Tara nodded regretfully, she wished Ray would join them, Ma had invited him, but the detective was bent on spending New Years alone. He had even requested that his folks take the kids, who enjoyed the novelty of having grand parents, even if it wasn't official, for a movie and the fireworks after wards.   
        "We'll be there." She assured. "Are you sure we can't change your mind? Perhaps we can leave early and...   
        "Nah." Ray shook his head as he popped a piece of popcorn into hi smooth from the bowl on the bar. "I won't be very good company." Tara sighed and took their two drinks and Ray received his change.   
        "How are you holding up?" He gave her a sad smile and grabbed this beer and Fraser's soda off the bar.   
        "Top a da world, Ma." He returned dryly, and she cast him a sympathetic look.   
        "I'm sure it will work out, Ray." She assured quietly and he shrugged, his eyes drifting toward the petite brunette who was attempting to set up their game.   
        "Wish her a Happy New Year's fer me?" he asked. "In case, ya know, I don't get ta see her later." Tara nodded and watched him return to his table.   
        "Here you go, Frannie." Tara provided handing her friend the glass of wine, Tara did not drink, so her glass held club soda. "Compliments of a certain good looking, blond." Francesca glanced at Ray and Fraser over the rim of her glass as they started another game. Even hurt and angry with her, as he no doubt was over that scene outside her brother's restaurant, Ray was still a sweet and generous man.   
        "What...what else did he say?" she couldn't help asking.   
        "He said to wish you a Happy New Years, in case he didn't see you tomorrow." Tara returned helpfully, as she set her drink on the small table provided and made the break.   
        "Is....is he spending tomorrow wit someone?" she inquired despite herself.   
        "No." Tara  sighed as she set up the game. "The kids are staying with his folks over the weekend and he's going to spend it alone." Tara didn't miss the look of sadness that swept across the brunette's pretty face. "I guess he doesn't feel much like celebrating." Francesca shook her head and tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat.   
        Despite not feeling particularly cheerful and fully aware of Ray just a few feet away, Francesca was starting to enjoy herself. Tara was correct in her assessment at pool, but Francesca was no better and they ended up laughing every time the other tried to make a shot. However, her heart leapt a little more each time she heard Ray argue over a shot or giggle in that sweet way of his.   
         She had tried not to allow her jealousy to show when a woman in a tight black mini skirt sauntered over to the table where the two men played, and offered to buy them a beer. Fraser declined politely but Ray accepted and seemed to be enjoying the woman's attention. And why wouldn't he, Francesca decided silently, Ray was a good-looking man and he was especially sexy when he wasn't even trying to be. Any woman would probably jump at the chance to bed him, if he was that sort of guy.   
        She paused after that last thought and turned to study Ray intently. She realized deep down, she knew Kowalski wasn't a one night stand kind of person. Sure he flirted and chased skirts before he and Francesca started dating, but how long had it been before they had even made love for the first time, not counting the night she seduced him at her house. No, Ray was too deep for a casual relationship with a woman, and it saddened her to realize that she had wrongly accused him and been suspicious over things that simply weren't possible when it came to the detective.   
.         Tara noticed Francesca watching Ray and the other woman, who was obviously very drunk and very horny. She giggled at every little joke the blond made and applauded whenever he made a shot, then she shook her head at the number of balls still on the table, and noticed Fraser and Ray were almost finished with theirs.   
        "We need help girl friend." She decided whimsically. "At this rate, we'll still be here next Christmas!" Francesca smiled slightly.   
        "What do you suggest?" she deployed. "Giving up?"   
        "Never!" Tara declared defiantly, as her gaze wandered to the two other men across the way. The woman was trying to hang on Ray and he effectively, yet politely, discharged her clinging arms. "We could ask for a few pointers."   
        "I don't know." she refused finally. "They...we shouldn't intrude." Tara waved a hand at her.   
        "Don't be silly." She returned, tossing Francesca her pool cue. "They're almost done anyway."   
        Francesca bit her lip and watched the other woman stride across the floor and creep up on Ray as he was making a shot. She grabbed him in the ribs and he jumped and swung around grinning, the tramp in the tight skirt glared at the Asian woman but Tara didn't even afford her a glance. Francesca sighed as the two detectives laughed, missed being playful with him, she missed everything about the energetic blond, but she couldn't get past her anger.   
        She lowered her eyes as Ray glanced her way, while Tara continued smiling and talking to him and Fraser, then a moment later Tara backed up so Ray could make his shot. She was surprised when he missed it, then Fraser took his turn and won the game. Ray offered a polite smile to the other woman, then moved across to the bar.   
        "We really are terrible!" Tara was stressing as they made their way back to where Francesca stood. Fraser had collected their jackets, while Ray returned decided to get a refill on their drink, and he lay them and his Stetson on the chairs behind Francesca.   
        "You have been playing a long time, with little success." Fraser agreed, eyeing the table even as he smiled at Francesca. "Good evening, Francesca."   
        "Hi Frase." She returned quietly, unable to help look back toward Ray, who was coming toward them with a small tray of drinks. She had behaved so childishly the last time they saw each other, she didn't  think he would even acknowledge her.   
        "So," Tara continued. "What do you gentlemen suggest?"   
        "Stop playin'." Ray teased as he set the tray on the table and Tara gave him a tolerant glare.   
        "Ha, Ha, Kowalski." She retorted. "Are you going to help or just be your usual obnoxious self?" Ray seemed to ponder that for a moment.   
        "Hmmm, tough choice." He deliberated and Tara punched him in the shoulder. "Ow! Fraser, arrest her fer assault will ya?"   
        "I have no jurisdiction in Chicago, Ray." He reminded calmly. "However I would be happy to be a witness if you decide to bring charges against Detective Chang." Tara moved toward him until their faces were only inches apart.   
        "You'd do that to me?" she demanded sourly, though her eyes twinkled with amusement.   
        "It is the law." He defended logically. "However, if we simply kill him and hide the body no one would be the wiser." Tara tried to keep a straight face at his placid expression but she couldn't do it and ended up laughing in spite of herself. His deep blue eyes were full of mirth but his face remained neutral.   
        "Gee, love ya too, Buddy." Ray shot back, with a grin, even Francesca managed a small smile. "So, okay, ya wanna play pool, da first thing ya gotta do is hit da balls into da pockets."   
        "Like we couldn't figure that much out ourselves, Ray." Francesca found herself replying sarcastically, sounding more like the Frannie he knew and loved.  He regarded her for a quiet moment, and then he took the pool cue from her hand and showed her how to properly hold it as Fraser indicated the same technique to Tara.   
        "Bend yer body." Ray whispered from behind Francesca, and she fought to pay attention to what he was saying and not how delicious he smelled and felt so close to her. "Little more..dere. Okay now lean over, just... yah. Dat's it."   
        Like dis?" she asked, enjoying their closeness and he nodded and put his hand over hers on the cue stick.   
        "To da left." he instructed and she moved her aim slightly to the left. "Now shoot."   
       Francesca squealed in delight  when she made the shot, and swung around to hug Ray. She quickly stepped back, as she realized what she had done and returned her attention to the game. Ray smiled a little and lined up another shot for her. After a few minutes, they were finally down to the eight ball and it was Tara's shot. The men stepped back to allow her to try it and were shocked when she called it on a difficult bank shot and made it.   
        "You rat!" Francesca cried laughing. "You do know how to play."   
        "I believe we have been hustled, Ray." Fraser commented, though his eyes were dancing in amusement and pride for Tara's skill.   
        "Good thing I didn't bet any money, Frase." the detective returned grinning. "What'd ya need us fer if ya can shoot like dat?"   
        "Any excuse to be in Fraser's arms is a good one." she defended and the Mountie blushed.   
        "Perhaps now would be a good time to order some dinner?" He suggested and the women nodded in agreement and they returned to the down stairs restaurant.   
        They each ordered a small meal and a round of sodas. Music was piping through the speakers and there were a few stragglers on the small dance floor, when Tara noticed the woman upstairs in the tight skirt meander over to their table and stare down hungrily at Ray, asking him to dance. Considering the tension between the detective and Francesca, Fraser was not surprised when the blond accepted and guided the woman out onto the dance floor.   
        "Tramp." Francesca muttered as she lowered her head to pick at her salad.   
        "Pardon me, Francesca?" the Mountie inquired, though he had heard what she had said.   
        "Nothing." The smaller woman denied as a flush crept up her cheeks.   
        "Well, if you don't want Ray dancing with her, go tell him." Tara encouraged.   
        "It's none of my business who he dances wit." Francesca defied quietly "If dat kinda woman appeals ta him, let him dance wit da witch." Fraser and Tara exchanged a muted glance, each trying not to smile at their friend's obvious jealousy.   
        "Well," Tara sighed as she reached across the table for Fraser's hand. "If it was my man dancing wit some drunken tart I'd be tossing her to the side and putting my fella's arms where they belonged." Fraser smiled and squeezed her hand tenderly.   
        "Where would they belong?" he tempted and she gave him a sultry look that made him blush.   
        "Wrapped around a nicely solid hunk of Mountie flesh." She returned and giggled when he turned the color of the red tablecloth.   
        Francesca smiled slightly at their flirting, delighted to see Fraser come out of his shell a little more, but her eyes wandered back to the dance floor, where Ray was disengaging himself from his dance partner and moving over to the DJ. He returned a moment later and tentatively extended his hand to her.   
        ""Dance, pretty lady?" he requested quietly and she couldn't refuse him. He led her out to the dance floor and slowly pulled her into his arms. Francesca couldn't help the sigh of contentment that escaped her, being held in his arms again was ecstasy. He only spoke one other time, when he whispered in her ear to listen carefully to the song. 

**_They read you Cinderella, you hoped it would come true_**   
**_That one day your Prince Charming would come rescue you_**   
**_You like romantic movies you never will forget_**   
**_The way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet_**   
**_All thus time that you've been waiting_**   
**_You don't have to wait no more_**

**_I can love you like that I will make you my world_**   
**_Move heaven and earth if you were my girl_**   
**_I will give you my heart, be all that you need_**   
**_Show you you're everything that's precious to me_**   
**_If you'll give me a chance_**   
**_I can love you like that_**

**_I'd never make a promise I don't intend to keep_**   
**_So when I say forever, forever's what I mean_**   
**_I'm no Casanova but I swear this much is true_**   
**_I'll be holding nothing back when it comes to you_**   
**_You dream of love that's ever lasting_**   
**_Well baby open up your eyes_**

**_I can love you like that I will make you my world_**   
**_Move heaven and earth if you were my girl_**   
**_I will give you my heart, be all that you need_**   
**_Show you you're everything that's precious to me_**   
**_If you'll give me a chance_**   
**_I can love you like that_**

**_You want tenderness I've got tenderness_**   
**_And I see through to the heart in you_**   
**_If you want a man who will understand_**   
**_You don't have to look very far_**   
**_I can love you, I can..._**

**_I can love you like that I will make you my world_**   
**_Move heaven and earth if you were my girl_**   
**_I will give you my heart, be all that you need_**   
**_Show you you're everything that's precious to me_**   
**_I can love you like that_**

        Ray glanced up and noticed that Tara and Fraser had joined them on the dance floor, then he looked down at the woman trembling in arms. She pushed away from him, a suspicious glistening in her eyes and hurried away.  Ray ran after her, catching her in the small corridoor outside the restrooms. Tears were streaming down her face and he was imediately bereft, he hadn't meant to make her cry. He caught one of them on the tip of his finger and shook his head.   
        "I'm sorry. I didn't mean ta make ya cry, Frannie I... " she reached up and placed a finger to his lip to silence him as she shook her head.   
        "No appologies. " she refused gently. "I...I'm not cryin' because I'm upset I...well, I am upset, but not like yer thinkin'."   
        "Tell me what's wrong, den?" he requested. "Tell me what ta do ta make it better. "   
        "Just say ya fergive me, Ray." she asked folornly. Ray shook his head confused.   
        "Fergive ya fer what, Baby? "   
        "If I hadn't chased ya away, ya might never gotten hurt." she stated miserably and Ray stared at her in shock. "Ya...ya had ta give up bein' a cop because of me and...I know how important.." Ray placed a gentle hand over her mouth, refusing to let her finish such horrible thoughts.   
        "What happened was an accident, Frannie." he inforced.  "I didn't go lookin' fer it ta happen and ya didn't know I'd get hurt wit dis assignment. "   
         "If...if I had just listened.... " she sobbed and he pulled her into his arms.   
        "If we both had listened we'd be better off." he muttered honestly. "If I had told ya ta begin wit why I was shakey about...about makin' love....about gettin' ya pregenant again, maybe ya wouldn't have had a reason to mistrust me. " He smoothed his hand over her hair and rocked her gently to the faint stirings of the song in the outer room. "I just....I couldn't stop blamin' myself fer Michael's death and because of dat I hurt you. I'm sorry. "   
        "I...I should have been more understanding. " she offered sniffing. "I knew how much having a child meant to you."   
         "But it's okay now, Sweetness. " he assured stepping back and forcing her to meet his gaze. "Yes, I miss Michael, I always will, but baby, ya gotta understand-it wasn't loosin' him dat scared me so much, it was dat I almost lost you. "   
        "M...me? " she gasped and he nodded.   
        "I kept seein' ya fall down dose stairs and all I could think of was if I had just stopped bein' so afraid of gettin' hurt, if I had listened to ya when ya tried ta tell me about da baby, you might never have fallen and..." His voice broke paused before he could speak again.  "I miss Michael, I do, but it's nothin' compared ta da loss I would have felt if you had died. So, I punished myself by doin' pennance, denyin' myself yer love. "   
        "Oh Ray. " she cried and wrapped her arms around him in an encompasing embrace. "I wish you had told me all dis before. "   
        "So do I." he sighed, surprised at how much lighter his heart felt now that he did admit to his feelings. "But, good came out of it, Sweetness, Mandy and Nat are da best and... "   
         "But you can't be a cop anymore." she remarked saddly.   
        "No, but I can still be a detective, Frannie, I can keep my licence, I just can't work fer da department.  Me and Fraser are gonna run our own detective agency."   
        "W...what about yer back? " she demanded fearfully. "What if..."   
        "We'll deal wit it as it comes. " he promised. "No one knows how long dey have on dis Earth, Frannie, but I intend ta make da most of it. Dis last assignment showed me I have ta tryt a do and be all I can or I'll really be da looser I always thought I was. " Francesca sniffed and cuddled into him again.   
         "I'm sorry fer bein' jealous the other day." she offered and felt him smile against her hair.  "I'm sorry for mistrustin' you and I'm sorry fer not bein' dere when you were hurt. "   
        "Frannie, you coudn't have known." he insisted.  "And yer here now, right? " She smiled and nodded. "So is dere hope fer us Frannie? "   
        "I think so, Ray." she agreed. "If...if we take it slow and...I mean...I don't expect ya to just take me back like dat, after all I did.... " She was silenced by Ray's mouth on hers and she clung to him. This was where she needed to be, where she wanted to be, forever.   
  

           Francesca had asked to take it slow, insist they just date and learn to trust each other again, but he couldn't wait any longer. He loved her and he wanted her with him all the time. He half expected that she was doing pennance for her past behaviour as well, much the same way he had admitted to doing over Micahel's death, but he didn't want her to hold out on their being together because she felt she owed it to him. He didn't care about their past, only their future, so he had trudged over to their house, the following evening sometime after ten that evening, while the family, including Fraser and Tara Chang were all inside celebrating the coming year. He had finally found Francesca's Christmas gift and it now rested in his pocket. He held a shopping bag in his hand filled with a scented surprise and a sweet treat. He worked quickly and quietly then left without anyone noticing he had been there.   
        When twelve O'clock hit the Vecchio home a united cheer went out, glasses clinked in a toast, hugs and kisses were plentiful and Ma requested her youngest daughter allow the new year inside their home. Francesca, slightly less cheerful then the rest automatically obeyed and threw the front door wide as the other continued to chat   
        "Oh My God!" Maria Vecchio, the first to reach the door, squealed as she glanced past her sister's rooted position on the steps. She started jumping up and down excitedly and calling the others to come.   
        Everyone grew silent and Francesca knew that all eyes were on her, but she couldn't move, her feet felt like they were glued to the spot. They had a tall street lamp just outside their driveway and their own porch and Christmas trim lights illuminated the space around them. Ray Kowalski had taken advantage of that brightness to complete his task. On their front lawn, against the soft backdrop of white slightly sparkling snow, Ray had written a message in red and pink rose petals and peppermint sticks. It said, Frannie, Let Me Love U Like That. Marry Me?  There weren't even any boot prints, where he would have had to walk to spread the message, yet there it was.   
        Francesca recognized the reference to the last song she and Ray had danced to and she felt a small tear slip from the corner of one of her eyes as she remembered the rest of the words to the gentle ballad. The question mark was dotted with a small dark shape and because Francesca was still in a state of shock, Fraser took it upon himself to step down and retrieve the item for her.   
Her hands were shaking as she accepted the box and pulled the lid open. Maria smothered another excited squeal, Tara gasped, Ray swore, Stella fumed, Ma wiped at her eyes, Tony wandered back inside to catch the last of the game he had been watching, and Fraser regarded Francesca with a curious affection.   
        "Francesca?" he promoted, bringing her out of her daze and she finally lifted her gaze from the heart shaped one-karat diamond, with accenting sapphires on the side of the marquis setting.  "Francesca are you alright?" She nodded slowly, and then something caught her eye, down the street, just walking under the light of another street lamp, a familiar figure in a long black coat and shoulder length blond hair.   
        Still wearing just her simple black cocktail dress with spaghetti straps and matching pumps she dove off the stairs and started to run. Tara had grabbed Francesca's coat and tossed it to Fraser who had started to run after her, as the watched her loose her balance once on the slippery drive then right herself and bolt off once more ignoring Fraser's call for her to stop.   
        "Ray!" She cried, unaware of the cold against the thin material of her dress and her bare skin, or the snow that was ruining her best pair of shoes. All she knew was that she had to catch the man in black, at all costs. "Ray!"   
Finally, about a block and a half down, the man stopped and turned, hearing his name.   
        She sobbed and kicked off her encumbering shoes and ran the rest of the way bare foot, through the snow, slush and gravel, until she was in his arms. Fraser watched as Ray Kowalski turned to find Francesca Vecchio bearing down on him. Even from where he stood, the Mountie could see the shock registering across his partner's face, but then he opened her arms and caught the flying woman up in his embrace. Fraser smiled as the couple kissed and Ray swung her around and around until Fraser himself was dizzy. He slowed his pace as Ray lifted her into his arms and met the Mountie half way.   
        "She forgot her coat." He explained casually, observing Francesca's visible trembling, either from the cold or from the excitement. He caught sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks, even as she turned to bury her flushed face against Ray's collar. "How are Nathan and Amanda?"   
        "Thanks, Fraser." Ray grinned as the Mountie draped the garment around the shivering woman.  "They're probably asleep, but I've got my Mum watchin' fer da night at dere place. "He kissed Francesca's forehead and whispered in her ear. "I though I'd lost you fer good."   
        "Never." She sobbed hugging him tighter. "I...I just didn't w...want to r...rush you. I...I t...thought..." she shook her head. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters as l...long as you love me."   
        "I love you, Sweetness." He vowed as he followed Fraser back to the Vecchio Household, still carrying Francesca in his arms. As they started up the driveway, Ma and Maria rushed out, Ma cursing a string of Italian that made the Mountie blush, even as the woman beamed proudly at the pair.   
        "Ma's right, Frannie." Maria scolded. "You could have hurt yourself or caught phenomena."   
        "She'll be fine." Fraser assured as they stepped inside and closed the front door. "If you could get a pan of warm water to soak her feet in and a warm blanket, that will ward off the chill."   
        Maria and Ma dashed off to collect the items as Tara smiled and hung Francesca's coat back up. Ray moved into the living room and set Francesca in the recliner, then discreetly reached up to pull her torn and sodden hosiery from her legs. Fraser turned around discretely as Tara cast him a sexy look, which only made his face darken further.   
Maria returned with a blanket and Fraser wrapped it around Francesca's shivering form, as Ray individually began to warm her feet with his hands. Their eyes met often and spoke in a silent language that only they could understand.   
        "You haven't answered my question, yet, Frannie." He told her, holding her gaze a long time, until Ma hurried in with a basin of water. Francesca shivered again, this time with excitement as Ray gently placed her feet into the water, and she glanced around at the faces of her family.   
        Maria had her hands clasped to her chest, as though she might have a heart attack if Francesca didn't say something soon. Ma was again discreetly wiping her tears with a handkerchief from her apron. Tara sat quietly on the sofa, just watching the scene unfold with a soft kind of affection, while Tony barely looked up from the television. Ray Vecchio and a very pregnant Stella wandered in and she waited for the fury to come, but she was surprised to see tears in both their eyes, as they held hands and remained back by the door where Ray could not see them. Francesca's gaze remained on her brothers until she finally saw what she had been waiting for, a slow nod of approval and a shy smile.   
        "Francesca?" Fraser said quietly, sensing something was amiss, and when her gaze finally settled on those beautiful Cerulean eyes she felt her heat skip a beat.   
         She did still love him, a secret love that she knew she would carry with her until the day she died, just as Ray had for Stella. The kind of love that gave you the strength to go on and the ability to love someone else, with an even greater passion and need then ever before. She smiled at him and Fraser returned it, slightly puzzled. Finally she turned her attention to Ray and smiled brilliantly at him.   
        "What was the question?" she inquired breathlessly and a few members of their audience chuckled as Ray ducked his head shyly.   
        Here was a man who had taken down some of the toughest, scariest criminals in Chicago, risked life and limb a hundred times over, especially when it involved a certain Mountie, in the pursuit of justice and his own sense of what was right. A man who stood up to her brother Ray Vecchio on more than one occasion and turned a man who had turned his own life upside down to accommodate two orphans he found in a crack house. A valiant and brave man who, having just spent possible hours spelling a message of love in the freezing snow and who was now on bended knee, was trembling before the petite dark haired Italian woman watching him..   
        "Frannie, I can't promise it will all be roses and candlelight, or dat we won't piss each other off and sometimes hurt each other's feelings. " Ray began quietly. "But as long as ya remember dat you are my choice, you are da woman I love and want ta spend da rest of my life wit, we can get through anything wrong we both say or do, if we're honest and we tell each other how we're feelin'." he lowered his eyes for a moment, then raised them to hers again and she saw the certainty, the love that shone in them for her. "You are my soul mate, ya make me complete. Will you marry me?" he asked, his voice working to remain steady despite the tremors she heard in it.   
        She pulled off his bracelet and handed it to him, watching the string of emotions tear through him, until she handed him the ring from the box that she still clutched in her palm. She held out her left hand and smiled a watery smile, blinking at her own tears.   
        "A deal's a deal, Mr. Kowalski." She reminded huskily, of their first agreement months before. "The ring fer the bracelet." Ray smile brightened the entire room like a thousand-watt light bulb, as he realized she wasn't turning him down, and he pushed the ring onto her third finger with shaking hands.   
        "I love you." He informed taking her face in his hands and kissing her soundly as Maria and the others applauded and cheered.   
  

        "Com'ahn Frannie!" Ray Vecchio gripped as he knocked on the bridal room once more and continued his pacing in the hallway. "He's seen ya imperfect before now move yer ass already!"   
        The door opened and his ill temper evaporated almost instantly as his baby sister stepped out in a long flowing gown of white taffeta and delicately embroidered lace. Her slender arms were bare from her wrist to where the fabric of the dress crossed over her tiny shoulders. The bodice dipped into an almost heart shaped trim across her bosom and the embroidered beads sparkled glamorously under the florescent lights of the church.   Her skirt seemed filled with yards and yards of the precious fabric and it swished romantically when she moved. Her headdress was a simple crown of white pearls and violets, with a long flowing optic veil that hung half way down her back.   
        "God yer beautiful." Ray choked as tears entered his eyes and Francesca's smile held all the love she could offer. "I can't believe yer my little sister anymore, Frannie-ya turned out ta be such a great lookin' woman." She could hold back no longer, her dress be damned as she threw her arms around him in one of the few Cherished hugs she could ever remember receiving from him.   
        "Thanks Bro." She whispered, blinking at her own tears furiously, she didn't want to ruin her make up before she even got down the isle. "I love you so much." Ray hugged her for a moment longer, then stepped back and wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat.   
        "You make sure he makes ya happy, Frannie." Ray cautioned his voice still not quite back to normal. "You don't take any crap from him, nothing. You hear." She smiled impishly as Maria hurried in with her bouquet of yellow and white roses, mixed with violets.   
        "I've been takin' yer crap fer years, Bro." She reminded saucily. "I can hold my own." He glared at her, but then he chuckled and extended his arm to her.   
        "Yep, yer still my Frannie." He decided as Maria, dressed in a beautiful lavender sheath grabbed up her own bouquet and moved ahead.   
        Tara and Mandy wore identical dresses and they hurried into position as the music started.  Lieutenant Welsh, looking debonair in his dark suit offered his arm to Tara and led her up the isle toward the two men standing at the front of the church. Then a smaller, Mexican man named Johnny, which Fraser learned was Ray's partner at the DEA led Amanda down the isle. Maria walked on her own, as she was the maid of honor.   
Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski out-shined ever other man in the place, in their matching black tuxedoes white shirts and violet cumber-buns. Ray had cut his hair back to its normal length and sported a familiar silver bracelet on his right arm. He no longer wore the earring in his ear, at least for the wedding, however his one rebellion was that he wore his traditional biker boots with his outfit. They were black and added a dangerous look to his attire.   
        The tune changed and a moment later the Bridal march started. Fraser and Welsh hid their smiles as Ray started the breathing exercises the Mountie had taught him to keep from hyperventilating. Ray was reminding himself to breath, as a million different thoughts hit him at once...I'm okay, it's just Frannie, I want this. Oh God! She's an angel! I can't marry her she's...she's...looking straight at me!  Even through that incredible veil I can see her dark eyes daring me to run. He tugged at his collar discretely, then lowered it quickly when Fraser pinched his arm from behind. She was a vision in white, floating toward him on the arm of Ray Vecchio, his secret enemy. The music stopped and the minister asked who gives this woman to be wed.   
        "Our Mother and I do." Her brother informed, gently as he placed Francesca's hand into Ray's.   
        Their eyes met and Ray knew everything would be okay. They turned toward the minister and listened to the brief sermon on marriage and the ties that bind. The question was asked, if anyone protested their marriage and Ray and Francesca gave a cautious look around, causing their audience to chuckle in amusement. Ray smiled and winked at his bride to be, who blushed happily. They repeated their vows to each other and Francesca could see the insurmountable love shining in her groom's eyes, and for a brief moment she glanced over at Fraser and Welsh. The older man was sniffing suspiciously and the Mounties's eyes were incredibly bright as he smiled at her encouragingly.   
        "I now pronounce you man and wife." The minister announced and Ray carefully flipped back Francesca's veil and leaned down to kiss her passionately as minister continued. "You may now...oh...well, never mind, you both seem to know what you're doing." A cheer went up even as many laughed at Ray's eagerness.   
        Francesca blushed prettily as they parted and Ray realized his error, but couldn't help grinning sheepishly. Francesca gathered up her dress to keep from tripping as she and Ray turned and hurried down the isle to the GTO waiting outside.  Everyone followed, tossing birdseed and cheering.   
        "Yer turn next, Buddy." Ray called to Fraser, who blushed as Tara linked her arm through his.   
        "I'm working on that!" she called back and Ray laughed as Francesca tossed her bouquet backwards before sliding inside, landing it purposefully in the female detective's hands.   
        The bride and groom were not having a reception, because they only had a couple of days for their honeymoon, before Ray had to be back for the court date to be awarded custody of the children. Rita had informed him that it was just a formality, Amanda and Nat were his to keep.   
         "Were ya dis happy when ya married Stella, Ray? " Frannie teased as she stared lovingly at her husband and without a moments hesitation he turned to her, smiling.   
        "Stella who? " he asked and Frannie smiled brightly and snuggled against him in delight.   
        Tara waved and snuggled closer to the Mountie beside her, twirling her prize suggestively.   
        "How do you feel about a June Wedding, Benton?" she whispered in his ear and watched him swallow nervously, as his eyes glanced almost longingly after his partner, no doubt berating the blond for opening his mouth and getting Fraser into this conversation to begin with. He finally turned his attention to Tara and his gaze softened.   
        "I hear it's beautiful that time of year." He murmured tenderly and she through her arms around him joyfully.   
    
  

**the end**   
    
  


End file.
